Another day, another chance to witness couples being couple-y in public. You stare for a bit and then look away because you don’t want to be rude; but you also look away because there’s a voice at the back of your mind saying ‘sana all’. You lock eyes with someone on the train and think ‘sh*t, this is it’, but it lasts for a second and they’re gone forever. You realize that your life isn’t a movie; and if it was, it would be the most boring movie ever.
You’re single. And it’s not all that exciting.
Somehow, the world decided that being single is all the rage; and so there’s been a surge of articles on the Internet promoting singledom – and you can’t relate to any of it. Not because you don’t agree with the fact that yes, being single gives you more freedom or that yes, being single gives you a chance to further improve yourself. No. You don’t relate to these articles because you have been single. Probably for the last couple of years; for some, even your whole lives. You’ve done the soul searching, you’ve Eat-Pray-Loved. You’ve probably learned to accept your flaws and you’re confident. So when is someone else going to get in on that action?
Your friends talk to you about their relationship troubles and all you can think about is how you wish you had a relationship to be troubled about in the first place. You watch romantic comedies to fill that void; but realize that when you wake up, Ryan Gosling isn’t going to be there. You go on dating sites because that’s apparently the only way to get a date, but all you do is come across people who aren’t genuinely interested and are just there for a hookup. It’s a hassle. Being single is tough work when you don’t want to be single.
[ALSO READ: Life After a Toxic Relationship]
For some reason, in our society, complaining out loud about being single is considered a bit lewd. People give you looks. People tell you that it’s okay to be single. People try to cheer you up by telling you that you’re better off. Better off what, exactly? Better off alone?
For women, there’s this thing about ‘being independent’ and ‘not needing a man’; and that still stands, ladies. It’s still okay to want a significant other. Having a boyfriend or a girlfriend doesn’t make you any less independent or powerful.
The thing is, we’re all just human. By nature, human beings enjoy the company of other people. While your family and your friends do love you, sometimes you just want to feel that kilig. You want someone to text you dumb things like ‘good morning’ or ‘have you eaten yet?’. You want someone to hold your hand or take you to the movies. You want someone to have an extensive meme exchange with. It’s not a crime to want these things.
So yes, it’s okay to hate being single. It’s okay to want all of the cheesy goodness of being in a relationship. It’s okay to want someone to bring you flowers or want to celebrate freakin’ Valentine’s Day. It’s true that relationships aren’t a walk in the park. They’re tough, they need work, and they need commitment. However, when you’ve been single since the Ice Age, the thought of hard work and commitment could be exciting. Besides, with the right person, it shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to manage.