I’ve been out of a toxic relationship for more than four years now; but every now and then, I think about all of the sh*t I’ve been through and realize how happy I am today.
What’s a toxic relationship, you ask? It comes in different forms, and it’s different for every couple. For me, it was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. It took me years before I realized that I needed to get out of that relationship in order to be truly happy.
Unfortunately, for many, getting out of these relationships are not that simple. Mine, for one, wasn’t.
My toxic relationship lasted more than eight years, and I tried to get out of it during the last two years. Every time I broke up with him, he found a way to get me back – whether it was by manipulating me or making me think that my life could only have a purpose if I was with him. Now that I am writing about it, I realize how stupid that sounds. During those last two years, he asked for an ‘extension’ with me – like it was a business deal.
Finally, I got out of it. I didn’t want him to talk to me or manipulate me again, so I changed my number, blocked him and all his friends on social media, and moved on with my life. I blocked at least 200 people on social media just so he wouldn’t find a way to get to me. Until now, I know that move was the best decision I ever made.
After a few years, I finally have a life. I feel reborn. I feel like I joined society again.
My life after that toxic relationship opened doors for my career and my emotional and mental growth, and it gave me a chance to strengthen my relationship with my friends and family. I started believing in myself again and I started saving money – which has helped me live a better life.
When I finally got into a new relationship, I realized how easy it should have been. I felt how I should be treated and how I should feel. I realized my self-worth.
My relationship now is more mature, understanding, and caring. I feel like I was deprived of all of this before; and now, I know how love and relationships should be.
I know many people in toxic relationships, but I choose to keep mum about it because people can only break free of them once they can convince themselves, once they know it’s the right time, and once they know that it is the best choice that they can make, and to commit to it. Relationships are complicated, and it is the individual’s decision to decide what to do with it.