True Love Doesn’t Come Out of Nowhere, You Work For It

I used to believe that love was controlled by destiny. That you meet people through destiny and whether they stay, or not is a matter of fate. That you just have to go with the flow and what happens, happens. But as I grow older, I start to realize that’s not the case at all. Love is not fate or destiny, “the one” doesn’t just appear out of nowhere and everything suddenly falls into place. No, “the one” will work every day no matter how hard it gets to make your relationship work. Because you can believe in fate and destiny all you want, say you were meant to be together but if one of you stops wanting to make it work, your happily ever after ends at that moment.

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I know, I sound so bitter, maybe it’s because of the environment that I’ve been raised in. Maybe it’s the fact that all my life the type of love that I’ve been exposed to was far from the rom-com and tear-jerking dramas that you’d see on the TV screen. I’ve learned early on that true love lives in those who want to work for the relationship. People will leave when they want to leave. You’ll learn the hard way that nothing can change that. Even if you try to change yourself, there will come a time that you will love someone with all your heart, and you will try to be the perfect person for them. But when they’ve made up their mind that they no longer what to be with you, they will leave, and you can’t stop them. You can’t force someone to stay if they don’t want to.

READ MORE Sparks Year 4: Love and Relationship in the Age of Independence and Technology

GIF from GIPHY

I know that this article is full of bitter words and I make love sound hopeless, but it isn’t. Love is scary, it is terrifying, more terrifying than any horror movie you will ever watch. You feel like you’ve got everything to lose to love, but that’s not true, with love you’ve also got everything to gain. Indeed, love makes you vulnerable and you will open parts of you that you never knew you could, to people who might not have deserved to see those parts of you. But you will, and you will do it again and again, and you will get hurt.

But one day someone will see you and all your flaws, and you will see theirs. They will do the right thing, you will do the right thing, to make it work and one day you will get the true love that you deserve. When you do, all the fear, heartache, and tears will be worth it. True love is not “love at first sight”, true love is waking up and choosing that person every day even after all the challenges, even after you’ve seen each other’s flaws and still deciding and knowing that deep in your heart you love this person. Sabi nga ng Ben & Ben, pipiliin ka sa araw-araw. 

GIF from GIPHY

Do you agree? What’s your say on true love? Do you believe in destiny?

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