Okay guys, settle down. I know you have a lot of feelings about this topic, but let’s all talk about this like the adults (we sometimes) are. A.K.A no yelling and violence and throwing stuff. (Okay, maybe a little yelling.)
Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’ve been the victim, but maybe you’ve been the offender, too. Or maybe you’re really just #triggerdt, because it’s 2018 and these times it seems everyone is always #triggeredt about something.
BUT ANYHOO, the point is, cheating does happen. Whether you’ve been together for many years, are truly committed, married, etc, sometimes it does, and it really sucks. So here’s our hot question: If your partner cheats, do you think they deserve a second chance? Will you take them back?
We asked members of our WIM Squad Facebook community, and wow, things got real. Here’s what some of them said.
19. “I always believe in giving chances to people. I would give him a second chance if ma-sure ko sarili ko na kaya ko pa at wala akong bitter feelings for what he did.”
18. “No. Your partner cheated kasi may pagkukulang ka (in his eyes) and it’s possible na it’s something you will never be able to change. I don’t think I’ll be able to trust him again if I find out my partner cheated on me.”
17. “NO! N. O. (PERIOD. EXCLAMATION MARK)
Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
16. “We’re all prone to temptation naman. Kahit ako naman there’s a possibility na I might cheat on someone. When that happens, I want to be given a second chance.”
15. “No. If he truly values the relationship with you, he wouldn’t cheat on you. We always have a choice.”
14. “Yes…everyone deserves a second chance. Semi hugot pero I cheated before pero sobrang pinagsisihan ko and vowed never to cheat again ever.”
13. “Depends!! If it’s like he/she was super wasted having too much fun and had a meaningless kiss at a club, it’s forgivable after much pleading. But if they’ve been emotionally and physically cheating for a long time already, it’s not.”
12. “Depends on the intensity of cheating and remorse, I would say. But if a chance is given, second is the last. Otherwise, you’re the stupid one!”
11. “Hell no! Block na yan then sunugin bahay.”
10. “Relationships are built on mutual trust and a willingness to commit to that person long-term. You both should know your limits and your boundaries and should be able to physically remove yourselves from situations that might induce or tempt one to cheat. When they cheat, that means they can (and might!!!) do it again. It also means they disregarded the trust of their partner.”
9. “I always thought people should get second chances. But even if forgiving a person can somewhat make you feel free, forgiving someone who cheated on you will only add burden to yourself. There will be a constant reminder that your partner cheated and you’ll be paranoid all the time. Cheating doesn’t happen by accident, it’s a choice. It’s a series of choices.”
8. “Nope. Wouldn’t give them a chance to do it again. That’s also what abusers do, in my opinion.”
7. “I can give her one more chance but if she does it the second time around, it’s goodbye.”
6. “Nope. It’s not an accident where he tripped and landed on top of her with no clothes on. He made a conscious decision and I will find it difficult to ever trust him again.”
5. “Forever alone ako since birth pero for me it’s a yes. Lahat naman tayo nagkakamali either from temptation or not. Siguro nga nagkamali sya, pero if I can see that she’s sorry for what happened and I can still feel the love when we started that relationship, I’d still welcome her with all my heart.”
4. “No way! Once a cheater, always a cheater. Tao lang nagkakamali, but I consider cheating as a choice. Baka di pinagisipan, pero ginusto. I will forgive him, oo. Pero we’ll stay friends na lang.”
3. “I will cheat din. Tas patas na. Lelz”
2. “Everyone deserves a second chance, but with this kind of problem, end it na for good. [Cheating is] a choice. You have conditions you need to fulfill as a partner and you failed it. Some of you might disagree and say ‘I gave my bf/gf a second chance and we’re stronger now.’ Really? Baka di mo lang ulit nahuhuli. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
1. “Easier said than done. When you’re married it’s a very tough decision. You will feel it whether the person really deserves a second chance. And no, the once a cheater, always a cheater is not true. It’s like saying once you do a bad thing, you will always do that bad thing. Habits are hard to break, but it can be broken.”
There’s a good mix of yes and no in these responses, with many in the in-betweens, too, proving what we already know—nothing is ever easy when it comes to love.
Do YOU agree with these opinions? What’s your take on this whole cheating thing? We want to hear your thoughts—let us know in the comments!