Please Stop Telling Me that I’m Single Because I’m Too Picky

Words by Leika Golez 

In today’s society wherein romantic relationships are glorified even more than ever, it’s difficult to be a happy single. These days, it’s as if being single is a bad thing. Even when you think you’re doing completely fine just by yourself, at least one person will try giving you advice. We often hear phrases like “You should go out more!” or perhaps “Don’t you feel lonely?” And then there are also self-proclaimed matchmakers who tell us, “Uy, may kakailala ako na bagay sa’yo”.  

But among all these annoying comments, the most problematic one I’ve heard was, “You’re just too picky.”

It’s just wrong. I mean, sure, perhaps there is such a thing as being too picky. After all, relationships were never meant to be perfect. But there’s a difference between being downright unrealistic and having standards. Today, we’ll be focusing on the latter. In my opinion, being selective when it comes to dating isn’t just normal, it’s commendable. Here’s why.


5. You’re willing to wait.

A good number of people, especially first-timers, jump into romantic relationships without thinking it through that much. This is probably due to the pressure of wanting to feel secure by having a supposedly committed partner. But sometimes we forget that we date someone mainly because we want to share love, not receive attention. When you’re willing to wait for someone you’re genuinely interested in, it shows that you know the value of what you’re waiting for. And that simply means that you will truly appreciate your significant other when you meet each other someday.

4. You have more time for other things.

Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and effort. So since you’re single and thriving, you have plenty of opportunities to spend your energy on things that you actually consider worthwhile. You can focus on your work, your hobbies, your friends and family, and most importantly, yourself. This period can be wisely spent on working towards being the best possible version of yourself. So when the time comes and you do encounter that special someone, you can doubtlessly say that you’re ready.

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3. You have choices.

It’s quite simple. Being selective means that you actually have something to choose from. So be proud of keeping your options open! You make it a point to consider all your choices and weigh each and every one of them before deciding. As much as possible, you try not to leave anyone out because you genuinely want to be as flexible as possible. Some people are so quick to assume that pickiness automatically correlates to narrow-mindedness, but this very idea proves them wrong.

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2. You actually have standards.

Again, another simple explanation. It doesn’t really make much sense to lower your standards for the mere sake of having a partner. As long as they’re not prejudices, then it’s totally fine to have standards. It’s a clear sign that you know what you want for yourself, and it helps save a lot of time in the long run too. Telling someone that their standards are too high is a form of invalidation. So feel free to dream big, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We should never tolerate mediocrity and self-pity, especially when it comes to finding a potential lifelong partner.

(READ: Why do we fall for people who are “pwede na”? )

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1. You’re not going to compromise yourself.

It’s so easy to lose yourself when you’re in love, but we choosy daters refuse to go down that road. We’re picky because we have the right to be.

Everyone does! No matter how much you love a person, you should never neglect yourself. After all, it’s always better to be happy alone than unsatisfied with someone, right?

So really, there’s nothing wrong with being a picky dater.

You shouldn’t have to settle. And that’s in the same way that you shouldn’t have to feel guilty for putting yourself first. Maybe it’s hard to believe it now since you’re alone, but you deserve to be with someone you want.

And someday, you will.

Any thoughts? Share them with us below!