Picture this: you’re cooped up in your bedroom as responsibilities and commitments pile up. Your social life? Still alive, but barely breathing. Your love life? In shambles. And if that wasn’t enough, you’re emotionally spent from the turmoil of situationships, losing your job, and crushes on people who don’t even know you exist. I’m sure you’ve been there. It’s inevitable—a canon event for us at any conscious decision-making stage of our lives as we gravitate towards human connections whenever we can.
Now, here’s where things take a mysterious turn. There’s a pair of glasses called “dateivators” on your doorstep one day and you have no idea who they’re from. You check the perimeters only to meet empty streets with nobody nearby. But you think, “What the hell, sure.” You have nothing to lose. So you put the glasses on, and much to your surprise, your curtain comes to life. Except it’s no longer a curtain, but a charming, fashionable man in patterned garments named Curt. You blink once and every inanimate object in your house, both functional and useless, has gained sentience and taken an intricate human form. And the best part? They’re all attracted to you.
Photo: Date Everything!
Welcome to “Date Everything!”, the newest romantic simulation (dating sim) game from Sassy Chap Games that throws you into lovestruck connections with infinite possibilities from the comfort of your own home. Thanks to your brand new “dateivators,” you now have the power to literally date everything in your field of vision. Your furniture, kitchenware, toiletries, and even the knick-knacks in your closet now have distinct names, voices, personalities, and designs. And to them, it’s love at first sight. There are over 100 dateable characters in your house to befriend, flirt with, and care for on a deep, personal level. The ball’s in your court now to unlock every possible ending to your romantic encounters.
Straight Out Of A Quirky Romance Flick
Does “Date Everything!” read like the offspring of our wildest romantic delusions and fantasies? Yes. Are we still obsessed with the game, anyway? Absolutely. Every household persona presents a detailed and thorough personality with ample room for you to explore and interpret. No two characters share the same attitudes or approaches to you, making it all the more enjoyable to work towards your desired endings. “Date Everything!” takes you down a lovey-dovey rabbit hole you’ll get too hooked on to escape. With immersive exchanges and voice acting from online and big-screen stars Ben Starr, Damien Haas, and Dante Basco, to name a few, the dating sim can turn the most chronically single player into a master of romancing the love of their life. At last, you can experience the kilig-inducing tropes that you thought only existed in movies and books (albeit virtually). “Date Everything!” turns your bleak everyday life into a vibrant, cheesy rom-com, and you’re the main character.
Inclusivity And Diversity? That’s Hot!
Photo: Date Everything!
“Date Everything!” knows a thing or two about staying true to its name. The dating sim’s titular premise doesn’t just apply to the range of household objects you can meet as humans and, in some cases, brooding entities. It also welcomes the identities, sexualities, preferences, quirks, and specific qualities of an ideal partner that vary per player. Each character carries unique physical features and elaborate costumes that take after the objects they’re based on. As humans, they’re also racially diverse, providing players with an optimal crush market and love life without the hassles and anxiety of stepping outside (because, let’s face it, socializing IRL can be full of disasters waiting to happen). Sure, they’re all still fictional at the end of the day, but at least you’re safe and secure around them. Your true feelings aren’t on the line, either. It’s a win-win!
Speaking of hot potential dates, you’ll undoubtedly cross paths with a “Date Everything!” character who’s the complete manifestation of your type. If you’re also on the lookout for a TDH (tall, dark, and handsome) suitor like former “Pinoy Big Brother: Celebrity Collab Edition” housemate Shuvee Etrata, big on compatibility, or have a list of red and green flags at your beck and call, the game is more than happy to find your perfect match. Who knew your household essentials were all kinds of charming, chivalrous, and captivating as humans?
Ever since “Date Everything!” launched for PCs and consoles this month, multiple characters have rightfully made waves online. We can’t blame the Internet when our dream boys and girls are coming to life in a video game. Some standouts include Dorian (Ben Starr), the tattooed human form of a door who makes numerous appearances in your dating life—as many as the actual doors in your house. Then there’s Betty (Mela Lee), your bed, a pink-haired woman with a soothing voice that’s comfort personified. And we can’t forget Bobby (Carolina Ravassa), the bobby pin on in your closet that transforms into a leather-clad woman radiating spunk and smugness who jokingly calls you “punk” when you two first meet. Somewhere down the road, you’ll also meet the clever and dextrous Daisuke (your tableware), Mr. Motivation Kristof (your treadmill), and Doug (Sungwon Cho), the human embodiment of existential dread with a six-pack. Even your nightmare and shadow can bond with you!
Do It For The Plot
Photo: Date Everything!
If you’re like me—chronically single and one rejection message away from giving up on love for good—let “Date Everything!” be your training wheels to love in the real world. Long-term attachments to fictional characters aside, this dating sim speaks sincerely of the realities surrounding human friendships and romantic commitments. They’re flawed, messy, riddled with hurdles, and far from the game’s dreamy disposition. You won’t always meet people as eloquent as Dorian or as affectionate as Betty. A “walking forest” of green flags is much harder to find nowadays than a certified heartbreaker. No matter how much you play the game or how ready you claim to be, relationships are still risky and unpredictable by nature. But if “Date Everything!” is any indicator, you still have all the time in the world to build a fruitful life where you can love freely without overly relying on relationships. Take it from Filipinos, who always have time for emotionally charged love songs and sentimental love stories of any kind—especially ones that aren’t their own.
“Date Everything!” is now available for purchase worldwide on Steam.
ALSO READ: This Filipina Matchmaker Spills the Tea on Love and Dating
Have you ever tried playing “Date Everything!”? Who’s your favorite dateable character? Tell us in the comments below!
Do you have a story for the WhenInManila.com Team? Email us at story.wheninmanila@gmail.com or send us a direct message at the WhenInManila.com Facebook Page. Interact with the team and join the WhenInManila.com Community at WIM Squad! We also share our stories on Viber, join us!
