My mom always told me that I have to love my job so that I don’t have to work a single day in my life. But what if I don’t necessarily like my job but it’s the work I want to do?
I am indecisive to the core.
I have a hard time deciding what to wear, what to eat, and what to do with my life. Even when I have a general idea of what I want to do, I still don’t know if that’s what I ought to do.
The same indecisiveness applies to the vicious job hunt.
The following are the five stages of the job cycle that I have experienced in my career so far. It may be totally different from your experience, but if you’re as indecisive as I am, it helps to know you’re not alone.
STAGE 1: Welcome to the Real World!
Fresh out of college, doe-eyed and hopeful, I initially wanted to get into the performance industry. But then, the world starts to get real once you graduate. I realized that I can’t really eat three meals a day from auditions. I can’t deposit my ideals in my bank account.
So I became desperate.
A friend told me they were hiring. The position was sales. I had no idea about sales. But when everyone in your batch is moving forward, getting promoted, going from one country to another, you start to panic. You are desperate for anything. If an opportunity came knocking after months of doing nothing, you take it no matter how sketchy it is.
So I took the job. From sales, I was hired into marketing.
STAGE 2: Completely Clueless Stage
I was a girl on my first job that was completely different from what I’ve studied.
The thing about real life is that you don’t necessarily work in the field you’ve prepared yourself for. Even if you’ve studied engineering for seven years, you may end up in the film industry for some reason.
So while I was working in marketing, I made a number of mistakes. I had to learn and unlearn. I had to meet new people. I had to be scolded by those new people, and that’s okay. I still had to keep going.
Not everything is about you.
Even if I was clueless, even if I kept making mistakes, even if I was uncomfortable, I still had to do the job. They hired me, and that means they trust me. No matter how clueless I am, I had to learn to be useful because I didn’t want to betray the trust they gave me by hiring me.
STAGE 3: The In-Between-Job Adventure
The thing about working is that you figure out what you don’t want to do more than what you do want to do.
So I was working in marketing and I figured out that I do really want to dabble in the arts. Still, I needed to keep myself fed. So I figured I should try freelancing instead. Being adventurous and taking a risk is also part of the job cycle.
In my months of freelancing, I have learned a number of things. I have learned to be more responsible for my work. I have learned to build better relationships with my clients. I have also learned that while it works for others, it does not work for me. And that’s okay. That’s the point of the in-between. It narrows your options to give you a clue about what you really want to do.
STAGE 4: The Eureka Moment
After months of trial and error, you suddenly get that “Ah, Eureka!” moment where everything falls in place and you finally figure out what you wanted to do. The Eureka moment can come in a place that’s exactly what you hoped for or completely opposite from where you want to be. It doesn’t matter where you figure it out, or how far you are from your goal. All that matters in the Eureka moment is that you finally know.
My Eureka moment came from when I was working as a researcher in a venture capital firm in Makati. I realized that where I really wanted to be is on the business side of performance and the arts. Finally knowing where to go, I decided to take the risk and move on to the next career step that will take me closer to my goal.
STAGE 5: This Is Not What I Expected
Boom, you’re in the place you’ve been praying for but boohoo, it is not going as planned.
The thing that hurts about jobs is that sometimes, the things you think you’re good at are the things that you actually suck at. So I’m in my dream job, but I’m not doing as well as I’ve hoped. Suddenly, the insecurities come in. Am I actually as good as I thought myself to be? Did I make the right decision going here? Is this really where I want to be?
But what I’ve realized after all the highs and lows of my career so far is this: it’s okay to not be where you think you want to be.
When you look at the bigger picture, all the stages, from being completely clueless to finally figuring everything out, led me to where I am now. Not every stage was fun or perfect, but not one of them was wasted as well. There was a lesson to learn in every season, a piece of the puzzle needed to complete the dream.
So it’s okay if I don’t know if I like my job. It’s okay if I’m not so sure anymore. Your job doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be. Somehow, it will all work out (I hope).
I Still Don’t Know If I Like My Job And That’s Okay
My mom always told me that I have to love my job so that I don’t have to work a single day in my life. But what if I don’t necessarily like my job but it’s the work I want to do?
I am indecisive to the core.
I have a hard time deciding what to wear, what to eat, and what to do with my life. Even when I have a general idea of what I want to do, I still don’t know if that’s what I ought to do.
The same indecisiveness applies to the vicious job hunt.
(ALSO READ: It’s Not Hard to Find a Job. You’re Just Choosy.)
The following are the five stages of the job cycle that I have experienced in my career so far. It may be totally different from your experience, but if you’re as indecisive as I am, it helps to know you’re not alone.
STAGE 1: Welcome to the Real World!
Fresh out of college, doe-eyed and hopeful, I initially wanted to get into the performance industry. But then, the world starts to get real once you graduate. I realized that I can’t really eat three meals a day from auditions. I can’t deposit my ideals in my bank account.
So I became desperate.
A friend told me they were hiring. The position was sales. I had no idea about sales. But when everyone in your batch is moving forward, getting promoted, going from one country to another, you start to panic. You are desperate for anything. If an opportunity came knocking after months of doing nothing, you take it no matter how sketchy it is.
So I took the job. From sales, I was hired into marketing.
STAGE 2: Completely Clueless Stage
I was a girl on my first job that was completely different from what I’ve studied.
The thing about real life is that you don’t necessarily work in the field you’ve prepared yourself for. Even if you’ve studied engineering for seven years, you may end up in the film industry for some reason.
So while I was working in marketing, I made a number of mistakes. I had to learn and unlearn. I had to meet new people. I had to be scolded by those new people, and that’s okay. I still had to keep going.
Not everything is about you.
Even if I was clueless, even if I kept making mistakes, even if I was uncomfortable, I still had to do the job. They hired me, and that means they trust me. No matter how clueless I am, I had to learn to be useful because I didn’t want to betray the trust they gave me by hiring me.
STAGE 3: The In-Between-Job Adventure
The thing about working is that you figure out what you don’t want to do more than what you do want to do.
So I was working in marketing and I figured out that I do really want to dabble in the arts. Still, I needed to keep myself fed. So I figured I should try freelancing instead. Being adventurous and taking a risk is also part of the job cycle.
In my months of freelancing, I have learned a number of things. I have learned to be more responsible for my work. I have learned to build better relationships with my clients. I have also learned that while it works for others, it does not work for me. And that’s okay. That’s the point of the in-between. It narrows your options to give you a clue about what you really want to do.
STAGE 4: The Eureka Moment
After months of trial and error, you suddenly get that “Ah, Eureka!” moment where everything falls in place and you finally figure out what you wanted to do. The Eureka moment can come in a place that’s exactly what you hoped for or completely opposite from where you want to be. It doesn’t matter where you figure it out, or how far you are from your goal. All that matters in the Eureka moment is that you finally know.
My Eureka moment came from when I was working as a researcher in a venture capital firm in Makati. I realized that where I really wanted to be is on the business side of performance and the arts. Finally knowing where to go, I decided to take the risk and move on to the next career step that will take me closer to my goal.
STAGE 5: This Is Not What I Expected
Boom, you’re in the place you’ve been praying for but boohoo, it is not going as planned.
The thing that hurts about jobs is that sometimes, the things you think you’re good at are the things that you actually suck at. So I’m in my dream job, but I’m not doing as well as I’ve hoped. Suddenly, the insecurities come in. Am I actually as good as I thought myself to be? Did I make the right decision going here? Is this really where I want to be?
But what I’ve realized after all the highs and lows of my career so far is this: it’s okay to not be where you think you want to be.
When you look at the bigger picture, all the stages, from being completely clueless to finally figuring everything out, led me to where I am now. Not every stage was fun or perfect, but not one of them was wasted as well. There was a lesson to learn in every season, a piece of the puzzle needed to complete the dream.
So it’s okay if I don’t know if I like my job. It’s okay if I’m not so sure anymore. Your job doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be. Somehow, it will all work out (I hope).
(ALSO READ: Stop Feeling Guilty For Leaving a Good Job for Something Else)
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About The Author
Angel is the stereotypical creative: emotional, charming, and horrible at math.