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It’s the 10th time I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day without a mom. I used to think it sucks because everyone else was posting photos of or with their moms. Seeing posts like that year after year on social media felt like life was rubbing it in my face. There would’ve been different ways to spend it with her, too, I thought to myself, but that was back when I celebrated Mother’s Day with a pity party.
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There are days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed. My head hurts and I feel heavy – paralyzed, even. I also feel like crying, although I’m not sure why. Everything only begins to make sense when I realize what day it is. “It’s just another day,” I repeatedly told myself. Eventually, I was able to treat Mother’s Day like a normal day keeping a safe distance from social media.
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This isn’t the first time; I’ve gone through this before and I can get through it again. Hoping that it will get easier as years go by, I gathered photos of my mother and put them in a memory box for safekeeping… and posting. I’d post one whenever I miss her and caption it with things I wish I could tell her. It worked for a time, but I eventually ran out of photos. I’ve posted everything I’ve got.
https://www.instagram.com/p/2XzTIEyKHT/?taken-by=gizellecaoile
10 years in (pretty long, I must admit) and I am now able to look at things at a different perspective. While losing my mom was definitely depressing, time has given me the chance to heal. Mother’s day wasn’t made for mourning, after all. In fact, it calls for a celebration, even for those who have lost their moms. A celebration for the person who gave us life, and I’m lucky that Mama even went far enough as to give me three sisters to annoy and bully every single day.
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Her absence today does NOT invalidate the 14 years she lived as my mom or the fact that she still is, and nobody else can ever replace her.
Mama lives forever in our hearts and memories – in mine and in those who knew her. She’s a part of me and my sisters for as long as we’re together, we will never feel incomplete. She did not bring us into this world to feel hurt all our lives and we’re grateful she gave us each other. Mother’s Day doesn’t suck nor is it just another day; it’s the day we bring honor to you, mama! Happy Mother’s Day!
How did you celebrate Mother’s Day? Tell us about it!
