Top 10 Reasons Why President Aquino Went to SM after the Martilyo Gang Robbery
We all know what happens when you “ASSUME” things… you make an “ASS” out of “U” and “ME” is the saying.
With that, here’s us making an ass out of ourselves as we try our best to guess why the two most powerful men in the Philippines, including Philippine President Aquino himself, went to oversee a robbery at a mall in Manila, where no one was reportedly injured.
But before we do so, just in case you haven’t heard, let’s get you up to date:
A group named the “Martilyo (hammer) Gang” supposedly caused some commotion at SM North EDSA after they robbed jewelry stores there and reportedly stole over 5 million pesos worth of jewelry and goods. No more than a few hours after, the president himself, President Pnoy Aquino and his right hand man, Interior Secretary Mar Roxas, were at the scene of the crime!
This of course got the interweb furious as netizens wondered about the priorities of the president! One has to wonder how much free time he really has if a robbery at a mall requires the same presence as would…. say a SUPER TYPHOON! Not to mention the mere name of the culprits makes this whole thing sound like a joke – the HAMMER GANG! (It’s hammer time! You can’t touch this!)
Some early speculations and rumors started to go around some sort of financial pleasing for the SM mall group which is owned by the richest man in the country.
But, let’s not make any assumptions… well actually…. you shouldn’t…. because we’re here to do that for you! We’re just as dumbfounded as to why in the world the president would bother putting this into his busy schedule. So here are our Top 10 assumed reasons on why the president went to SM after the Martilyo Gang robbery!
Top 10 Assumed Reasons Why President Aquino Went to SM after the Martilyo Gang Robbery
10. There was an SM mall super sale that day! With prices up to 50% off!
9. The president was misinformed and thought that there was another Super Typhoon in the mall and he wanted to make sure he responded faster this time.
8. Their PR Agency sucks… they thought this would be a good way for the President to show he “cares” about the people. #EPICFAILPUBLICRELATIONS
7. Pnoy was stalking Grace Lee and she checked in on foursquare at the mall. So he wanted to “accidentally” bump into her and ask her out again.
6. Mar Roxas needed a new yellow shirt.
5. Pnoy was there to get a haircut.
4. They heard the Pope was sneaking out of the Vatican at night to help the poor, so Patman and Marobin wanted to be crime fighting superheroes too.
3. Malling malling lang pag walang magawa.
2. Henry Sy wanted to show Anne Curtis that: “I can buy you, your friends and this country!”
1. The president forgot to buy his Xmas gift for his sister Kris Aquino…. and you all know how pissed she can get….
And there you go! In such a “WTF” kind of response to a mall robbery, we figured the answer had to be just as crazy. What do you think is the reason the President Aquino himself and Mar Roxas went to SM North EDSA after the Martilyo Gang robbed it?
See also Top 10 things that might get you arrested by the Binay Clan – http://www.wheninmanila.com/top-10-things-that-might-get-you-arrested-by-the-binay-clan-the-binay-gate-scandal-binayshallnotpass/