My Mom Played As My “Secret Admirer” So I Can Learn To Love Again

Valentine’s Day is the most anticipated event for everyone. This is the day when it’s practically traffic because everyone’s out and about. Everyone is dining in, spending quality time with their family, friends, spouses, and more. This is also the day where everyone receives smiles and electronic greetings on Facebook.

social media greetings

Haaaay, the world has evolved. But even though, we are emerging, I will never forget the way my mom would celebrate Valentine’s Day with us.

So, my mom was a single mom for a while. And although she’s had relationships, she would always put us first. I guess, all moms are like that– the epitome of unconditional love.

Ahavia Maria Clara

Growing up, I thought Valentine’s Day was another special occasion similar to Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, and more. Because when I was young, I would wake up with sweet notes and greetings posted on our fridge.

fridge notes

And when I would walk towards our dining table, a freshly baked chocolate cake would surprise me there with: “Happy Valentine’s Day. Love, Mama.” After devouring the cake, I’d wait for her to come home, so we can stroll at Harrizon Plaza and attend the 6 PM mass.

For years, our Valentine’s Day routine was like that.

You know my mom wasn’t perfect. She’d miss those cakes and letters, too. But she would never ever forget to take me out somewhere. In short, I was her “date” until I reached my office days.

Things changed, as we both cannot go out the way we used to. When I was already of age, I started dating. I started hanging out with friends. I did what a normal girl would do. So, when I got brokenhearted for the first time, it hurt like a b*tch.

I didn’t want to go to work anymore. I hated Valentine’s Day. I hated couples showing affection. I hated flowers. In short, I was bitter with everything.

Mom to the rescue, she relived the meaning of Valentine’s Day by reassuring that love isn’t about the boy and girl relationship, that you can also feel the love with friends, co-workers, and most importantly, family.

She told me, my prince charming would come soon, and that I shouldn’t give up on love.

So, I asked: “How soon, mama? Parang wala namang nanliligaw sa akin.” She’d reply: “basta, tignan mo sa Valentine’s Day, may admirer ka.” For years, I thought and believed my mom was psychic because she never failed me.

Every 14th of February, I would receive notes, flowers, and a bag of nips perfectly placed on my office table. For two years, I felt special because of that “secret admirer.”

Sadly, my mom’s sickness and issues at work took a toll on her. She couldn’t keep the secret anymore.

One Valentine’s Day, she revealed the truth. She wrote:

To my dearest Aveng,

Don’t be sad if wala kang ka-date. Ako na lang muna ang i-date mo.

The one who loves you unconditionally and your secret admirer,


At that time, I didn’t know what to feel. To be honest, I felt betrayed. I felt like she didn’t teach me how to face reality.

But what prevailed was her unconditional love for me. That making me happy was what every parent would do for his or her children. Her faith in me remained steadfast.


My mom played as my secret admirer so I can learn to fall in love again. She’d literally miss her lunch, just to drop by my office and pretend to be my secret admirer.

When mama died, I told myself:

These are the moments, things, that you can’t bring back anymore. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away. Never to return.

So, while we have it, while YOU have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, and fix when it’s broken, And heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage, old cars, even children with bad report cards.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special. So, we keep them close.

So, y’all that don’t have partners or Valentine’s dates, but you have sisters, brothers, children, best friends, especially, moms and dads, choose them as your Valentines Date tomorrow. At least, you are spending on the right people. At least you know these people will never leave your side, that these people will love you unconditionally.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mama! Thank you for teaching me to love wholeheartedly.

And to you, happy Valentine’s Day, too! Have a blast and enjoy!

How are you going to celebrate Valentine’s Day tomorrow? Let’s talk in the comments! 🙂