For almost every Filipino couple, there is one question that is practically inevitable at family reunions and casual gatherings: “Kailan kayo mag-aanak?”
Photo: TJ Monterde/Instagram
While often asked as casual small talk, this harmless-sounding question carries heavy pressure—especially for women. Navigating this topic isn’t always simple; some couples face fertility challenges, while others simply choose to take their time.
For OPM icons KZ Tandingan and TJ Monterde, their response to the pressure is straightforward: Not yet.
The couple tied the knot on August 28, 2020, at The Farm at San Benito in Batangas. Despite being married for six years and thriving in their careers, they frequently deal with unsolicited advice about starting a family—especially from those who point out their financial readiness.
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However, KZ firmly believes that parenthood requires way more than a healthy bank account.
“I want to make sure that I’m not a baby taking care of a baby,” KZ shared. “I owe that to my child—na alam kong—like you will never be ready sa pagiging magulang, but I also think that it’s your responsibility to at least try to be ready.”
She added that having children should never stem from social obligation or fear of aging alone.
“It’s not even a matter of like ‘pag sinasabihan kami na, ‘Pera-pera, may pera, sold out yung mga shows tapos ganito,’ but it doesn’t just end with that. It’s a lifetime responsibility,” KZ highlighted. “Ayoko siya na parang mag-anak lang ako because I was pressured into becoming a mom. Ayoko lang maging nanay kasi kailangan mo may mag-aalaga kapag tumanda.”
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Facing that societal pressure wasn’t easy, but KZ chose open communication with her husband and honest reflection on her own timeline.
“Kasi alam ko as a wife, parang pwede ko naman ‘yon ibigay sa asawa ko eh, but as a mom nagkaroon din ako ng mahabang-mahabang conversation with God,” KZ expressed. “And sabi ko din, ‘Lord, alam mo naman ang laman ng puso ko, Lord. But to be honest with you, I am not saying I don’t wanna be a mom, but I’m not yet ready to be a mom. But if Lord, will mo maging nanay ako, then plant that love in me to become a mom, help me nurture that love to become a mom, until talagang it grows into something more than myself na alam kong ready akong magmahal ng anak.’”
TJ’s take: “A couple is a family”
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For his part, TJ fully supports his wife’s stance, emphasizing that entering parenthood must always be a team decision.
“‘Di siya pwedeng desisyon ko lang. Kasi dalawa kaming parents. So, ‘pag sinabi niyang hindi muna s’ya ready then, so be it,” TJ said.
He also shared a beautiful perspective on what defines a complete home.
“I also believe that a couple is a family. So, parang for me, kaming dalawa, sapat na sa’kin ‘yun eh. So, kung magkaka-baby kami in the future, then that’s a blessing. But, kung kaming dalawa lang, then I’m very, very much happy with my life right now with my wife.”
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A growing cultural shift
KZ and TJ aren’t the only ones redefining family planning in the Philippines.
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According to data from the 2025 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) by the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), the country’s total fertility rate dropped to 1.7 children per woman. Furthermore, 57.3% of married women expressed that they do not want additional children, while contraceptive prevalence among married women rose to 44.5%.
KZ and TJ embody a growing mindset among modern Pinoy couples: choosing intentionality over expectation, prioritizing emotional readiness, and honoring their own timeline.
ALSO READ: IN PHOTOS: KZ Tandingan and TJ Monterde Tied the Knot Again
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