Words by Jeff Pascual
Have you ever had a crush on a Chinese person but didn’t pursue them because of the “great wall”? Well, here are some tips that will increase your chances with them!
Like in all relationships, you need to make the first move to get the ball rolling. The next part is to meet their family–more specifically, their parents. And this is the part that many people fear the most.
Most Chinese parents are very traditional and they value the preservation of their culture. The “great wall” is not there to simply keep non-Chinese people out but to “protect and preserve” the Chinese culture.
5. Research on Chinese culture
The first thing you need to understand is that Chinese parents really value their culture and tradition. Do some research and ask the person you’re dating about their culture so that you’ll know their sensitivities and cultural norms. It would also make you look good to their parents because they would see that you respect their culture and that you’re serious about dating their son or daughter.
4. Prepare to be interviewed
Like any parent, Chinese parents always want the best for their children. When you’re about to meet the parents, prepare for questions about your educational background, work, career plans, family life, and even your financial status. Always remember that to them, you are a complete stranger going into their home and they need to be assured that you will be a good influence on their family. Be respectful and honest. And it also doesn’t hurt to wear red! ?
3. Learn their language
It’s a misconception that the language used by the Chinese in the Philippines is Mandarin because most families actually use Hokkien. Also, refer to the parents as “Uncle” or “Auntie” and get familiar with some terms such as “Ahia” and “Achi”, which means “brother” and “sister”.
“Good evening” = “ho am mi”
2. Be likable
Getting the parents to like you is essential and going the extra mile will really increase your chances. Be the one to initiate a conversation, say thank you when you have a meal in their house, and always give them thoughtful gifts. Just be careful as some gifts may be seen as a sign of disrespect.
1. Family comes first
The last thing that you should do is make the person you’re dating pick between you or her parents. Chinese families are very close and the elderly are highly respected. When plans get canceled due to family concerns, don’t get mad. Just be patient and understand that family will always be the most important thing for them.
In the end, love will not always be easy, and you’ll have to face some challenges. Dating a Chinese person may be daunting, but learning to respect different cultures and traditions will really benefit you in the long run.
ALSO READ: Signs you have Overprotective Chinese Parents
Share your experiences of climbing the great wall!
