Living as a member of the Filipino-Chinese community has its perks, one of my favorites is the amazing Filipino-Chinese fusion of dishes I’ve come to love. Best of all, the little red envelopes (am-pao) with money are always a big hit for me!
But of course, with everything in life, there are crazy sides to things. Being Filipino-Chinese, one of the funniest hurdles I had growing up, was having friends (or girlfriends) who have overprotective Chinese parents. I’m choosing to just laugh at those childhood experiences and label them as that stemming from a parent’s concern. Here are the top signs that you or one of your friends has overprotective Chinese parents.
Signs you have Overprotective Chinese Parents
You are expected to get straight A’s in school.
You were expected to grow up and be a doctor or engineer.
They tend to nag a lot, and somehow link everything back to your schooling and career
They are ALWAYS trying to get a discount
You have a curfew…. even if you’re already 30-years-old
Overprotective Chinese Parents – “What time will you be home with my kid?”
Me – “Sir, I’m not sure…”
Overprotective Chinese Parents – “I want you to be home by midnight!”
Me – “Ummm….. you know we’re 30-years-old right?”
Overprotective Chinese Parents – “It does not matter! It is dangerous out there!”
Me – “And you know your kid is a boy…. well, a man?”
Overprotective Chinese Parents – “OK, be home by 1am”
You are only allowed to date other pure Chinese people
My grandma: “I’m so happy you’re dating a Chinese girl”
Me: “Actually, she’s Japanese…”
My grandma: “….”
My Grandma: “I’m old, forgetful and my eyes are weak, let’s just say she’s Chinese so I can die happy”
They give you a million dating restrictions then they complain that you’re not married yet.
The first thing they ask your friends is “Do you speak Chinese?” Then immediately give you a look of disappointment and disgust after you tell them that you can’t
At one point in your childhood, you had a really really bad bowl shaped haircut, whether you were a boy or a girl!
You had a good luck fish
Your parents were always trying to give you deep quotes and sayings to guide your life
You have a million relatives and you are expected to remember all their names
Your aunts, uncles, siblings and family members, each with a different proper Chinese title which will again be different depending on what part of the family you are from.
“Did you greet your gua-ma and your si-hiya? How about your popo and your di-chi? Also say hi to your koko and kaw-fu and a-pe and a-ko. Oh and say hi to Uncle Jimmy too.”
You have to call everyone else older than you, your uncle our auntie, whether or not they are actually related to you.
You always have to wear red on birthdays
Happy birthday Yao…
Finally: Your overprotective Chinese parents gave you everything they could through their hard work and perseverance. They been around the block and know the dangers of the world and do their best to protect you. They know their work will never be done until they see you settled and safe. Their clothes are 20 years old, but they sent you to college and spend all their money on you. They may be too stoic to say, “I love you,” but you know they do, and you wouldn’t change anything! Thanks, Mom and Dad!