F You, Fantastic Four: 4 Things You’ll Hate About The Movie

Who wasn’t excited for the reboot of Fantastic Four? When the trailer came out, geeks and movie buffs all over the world squealed, screamed and squeezed the arm of whoever they were next to; and when the movie came out, geeks and movie buffs all over the metro lined up to watch it on its first night out in the cinemas.

And by the end of the movie, they were so ecstatic, they ran home and wrote a movie review about how amazing it was and how it did not disappoint.

…Or at least, that’s how things would have gone if the movie was actually remotely good. Unfortunately, we had to wait a few days, punch a few walls, scream and rant at people about our utter disappointment; and let all of the real steam out before we released our movie review. Here it is. Welcome to the sad truth.


F You, Fantastic Four: 4 Things You’ll Hate About The Movie


4. It is dragging.

fantastic four 2015 movie

We don’t know about you, but we love superhero movies because they’re fun and entertaining and full of action. Fantastic Four fails us on all of those levels. It isn’t fun. It isn’t entertaining. And it doesn’t have any action in it. Let us elaborate…

3. The cast is amazing, but the characters themselves? Not so much.

fantastic four 2015 movie

When the line-up of the Fantastic Four cast was released, we jumped up and down for joy. There was not a single character miscast in our minds. Unfortunately, even a great cast can’t be saved by a movie that is completely lacking in character depth.

Reed is the smart one. Yeah, he’s smart and passionate about his work. But other than being a nerd, he apparently doesn’t have anything else going for him. The same goes for Ben. He’s brooding and passive aggressive. And the chick? She likes music. And Victor? He apparently used to have Reed’s job at the research facility and used to like Sue.

…Or so he says. We don’t really feel any real emotions of resentment or anything from him throughout the movie. And oh, aside from the very brief mention that Sue was adopted, you don’t really feel like she’s related to Johnny at all. I think the script makers realize this all-around lack of character depth, though, because they also repeatedly have Reed tell Ben that he’s his best friend.

2. The superhero action is practically non-existent.

fantastic four 2015 movie

Oh, sure, you’ll see The Thing throw things at people in videos that they show for research purposes in the movie, and for a glorious three seconds, you’ll even hear him say “It’s Clobbering Time!” But that’s the only action highlight of this movie.

After they transform into superheroes, they go straight back to the research facility. What? Yes. And for an excruciating x amount of minutes that seems like forever, your heart jumps a little bit when the villain comes into the picture. But oh wait… he leaves, too. And then finally… FINALLY… they fight. For about 5 minutes.

Yes, the big climactic fight lasts for about 5 minutes. Okay, I might be exaggerating a teeny tiny bit (it was probably more like 7.5 minutes), but the point is: you’ll spend 1 hour and 46 minutes watching a superhero movie for some serious superhero action, but you’ll only get a measly few minutes of it. At the very end of the movie.

1. It doesn’t feel like a Marvel Comics movie at all.

fantastic four 2015 movie

From the dawn of time, it has been clear: DC is serious; Marvel is fun. But no, that isn’t the case with Fantastic Four. If you were expecting a fun, witty and light-hearted movie reminiscent to all other Marvel Comics movies done in the past, then you’re definitely walking into the wrong movie.

The worst part is that their “jokes” are so lame, if not forced; no one in our movie house even laughed at them – a far cry from the witty banter that The Avengers exchange. Heck, even the Avenger memes are funny. I can’t think of a single meme for this one. But feel free to try and lighten our moods with a few if you have any. Comment away!

Of course, you don’t have to take our word for it, though. If you want, you can go visit other review sites and see what they have to say (to save you some time, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a measly 9%) or you can just go and waste your money and rate it yourself. Make sure to let us know what you think afterwards. And oh, don’t stay for the after-credits. There aren’t any. Yes, they couldn’t even give us that. Sigh.