Words by Patricia Yap
If you’ve ever went out drinking with friends, you’d know that sometimes making a bit of landi is inevitable.
With people taking shots and dancing everywhere, you just feel a little bit braver to walk up to the person you find attractive. Whether it’s with that one friend in the group you’ve always been crushing on, the cute stranger at the other table, the Bartender/DJ, or perhaps maybe even a potted plant—there’s no denying that you’ve tried to flirt while drunk at least once in your life, right?
Unfortunately, with drunken landi sometimes comes drunken landi fails. So, here we bring you 6 of the funniest (or saddest) fails that people shared with us…and I bet you you’re already thinking of tagging a friend or two.
7. Dare? G!
“There’s this one time I was dared—and I don’t back down from a dare—to flirt with a hot guy during a night out. So, I asked him if we could momol. Then he said, “girl, lalaki din bet ko!”.
6. The Third Wheel
“I was on a Bumble date with someone in a bar. While we were chatting and getting to know each other, when her friend suddenly came up to me and exclaimed, “You’re hot! Do you wanna make out?” I wasn’t really enjoying the date so I was tempted to say yes. My date didn’t seem to mind and told me to go ahead. Long story short I made out with my date’s friend in the parking lot.”
5. What Goes in Must Come Out
“One time I was out drinking with some friends and I found this guy really cute. I was eyeing him the whole night. By this time almost everyone was drunk—and I mean REALLY drunk, including the cute guy I was looking at. Since marami na kaming nainom, one of my friends told me to just go to the guy and try flirting. I’m normally shy, but the alcohol got to me, so I did go to him. Surprisingly, everything was going well; we were talking and laughing. So, when both of us were going in to kiss, I felt something wet hit my leg. THE GUY WAS ALREADY PUKING ON ME.”
4. Love Triangle, stomoyon?
“So, this is actually my friend’s story. She went to a friend’s house to drink, but lumipat sila kasi napagalitan sila sa sobrang ingay. They went to Xylo and nakasama nila yung “cool guys” sa group. And kasi there’s this one guy in that group that she liked, but then there’s a guy also that likes her. So, yeah, they’re having a good time—lasingan and stuff—party hard sila. So napagod yung friend ko, and then a guy that’s not a part of their group started hitting on her. But then nakita ng guy na may crush kay girl (Let’s call him Guy 1) ang nangyayari. He went to them and told the guy to back off. After that Guy 1 and my friend started talking. It was going great pero my friend started talking about how she would confess to Guy 2 (The guy the girl likes) tonight. So, naturally nalungkot si Guy 1. So, nung umaamin friend ko kay Guy 2, na shock si girl. Wanna know why? Guy 2 told her that he liked Guy 1. So, ayun umiyak si girl kasi pano ba naman, si Guy 2 may plan pala to confess to Guy 1 this whole time.”
3. Shoot Your Shot?
“This happened when I was in 2nd year college. I broke up with my girlfriend from high school during the summer, and so did a friend of mine whom I recruited to join our student organization. We went out a couple of times during the 1st semester, and come Christmas vacation, I confessed that I like her. While I was drunk, I definitely knew what I was saying. She asked me if I’m drunk and I said yes. She said that she didn’t believe me that I like her. Well, that was the end of our “something.” We became so awkward after that Christmas vacation; she would ignore me completely whenever we see each other randomly in school. I learned later on, probably at least a year after the drunk confession (so this was 6+ years ago), that she indeed liked me back. As recently as last month, another close friend of hers confirmed the same thing. They told me that she used to tell them stories about me, what she liked about me, etc. We’re back to normal friends, but yeah, that drunk confession was a fail.”
2. Keeping it PG
“We went drinking sa isang bar with my friends and this girl na medyo crush ko at the time. So, we were having a good time dancing and drinking. Then when it was late into the night, most of them were drunk na. Ako, I’m very tipsy na but inaalagaan ko yung iba. So, the girl I liked was one of the very drunk people also, but di ko pa siya inaalagaan kasi may kasama ako na nagaalaga na sa kanya. And then when I was taking care of another friend, biglang she went to me and started making out with me. It was a fail because she started using tongue aggressively and I backed out bigla. It was freaky.”
1. Does this count as landi?
“I’m a really shy and quiet dude, but when I drink I can get really loud and confident. One time I was out for one of my friend’s birthday party and it was in an open area. I like to take in a lot of drinks early on so I could gain enough confidence throughout the night. So, yeah that’s exactly what I did. And I remember seeing a really attractive girl. Although I wasn’t really sure because I couldn’t really see clearly by this time because of all the alcohol. So, my now gutsy self had enough courage to go up to her. When I got near her, I couldn’t really see but I think she was wearing something green. So, I started talking to her, but she never really replied to me. I thought I was making a fool out of myself and that she didn’t find me likeable at all, pero she wasn’t moving away naman. Kaya I was weirded out. I decided to move to a friend of mine and asked, “Pare, who’s that girl over there with the green shirt? She’s cute but she’s so quiet.” Then my friend replied, ‘Loko ka ba? Halaman yan, ‘di yan tao, gaga!’ Long story short, I tried hitting on a plant.”
Well, that’s the end of that! As much as that was an enjoyable list of drunken landi fail stories, I think we’ve all learned some valuable lessons here. If you ever think that flirting while drunk is a good idea, well, you better think twice after this.
How did you find these drunken landi fails? Do you have any stories of your own? Let us know!