You Want a Stronger Woman Until She’s Stronger Than You

Words by Gianna Sibal

Women have lived based on the conception that they have to be demure. Soft, frail, pretty—the ‘damsel in distress’. We can’t really blame anyone; that was how society worked before. We weren’t allowed to do the hard stuff. We were to stay at home, watch the kids, make a sandwich for our husbands. Which is so wrong. Ugh. Cringe.

However, times have changed—women deserve the same respect as men; which is why feminists are fighting for our rights and opportunities. We are strong, we deserve to be heard, we deserve to do and be the same things as men.


Which is why, I think, when women speak out, when we go against the preconceived notion of what women are—people find it attractive. “Feisty,” most will say, like it’s a compliment. Or, “badass”. And sure, it’s fine. Compliments are fine. When we’re blunt or straightforward, some might consider it rude, even though we don’t mean to be—but most of the time, according to my experience, when we come across as strong-willed—it’s attractive. Emphasis on most of the time.


People will find it attractive until a woman projects her voice and disagrees with you, and suddenly, she’s forgotten her place. Until she’s being too much, and her straightforwardness and independence are suddenly attacking your ego, and you feel like she doesn’t need you anymore.

But she never really did in the first place—especially if she were really strong.


People only love the idea of ‘strong women’ as ideas and fantasies—and not as breathing, living humans threatening to be better. The truth is, you want a stronger woman until she’s stronger than you.

Being rude and strong are two different things—and I think people get that mixed up. Strong women will stand up to face any challenge—whatever it entails. They also know when to leave or back out from any situation that is detrimental to her; and that also requires incredible courage and bravery. Strong women love themselves, trust themselves, puts themselves first. They are kind and compassionate—some might see this as a weakness, but these are vital parts of being a human that allow for emotional and social connections. Strong women don’t depend on others for their own happiness—they create it. They aren’t afraid to show their emotions, to voice them out, to speak their minds. 


Strong women are strong for themselves, and they try to be for others. All of what I mentioned, I think, are part of, but not limited to, being a strong woman. And personally, I’m not there yet—but I want to be.


So, girls: if anyone ever feels like you need to be weak for them: remember your worth, and remember who you are. Do not ever give yourself to somebody who makes you feel weak.

(ALSO READ: 10 Filipino Women Who Inspired the Philippines and the World)

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