I was in a relationship for a year and half. And like all good things, it came to an end after a fiery crash and burn. It was a painful separation: I cried several times, I asked for him back, and I stalked his social media accounts. It was a very sad time for me, but after several weeks, I stopped crying, I unfollowed him on social media, and accepted the fact that I’m now single. And I’m loving every single minute of it.
Yes, being single means I no longer have a fixed date to parties, movies, and events. It means more Saturday nights by myself, and it means home after work and not having a listening ear who will understand when I rant. It means not building a meaningful connection with someone who will be there through the years.
But being single means being independent, being able to go to parties, movies, and events with whoever I want. And because I’m secretly an introvert and homebody, I can choose to go alone, or stay at home. Being single, I don’t have to feel guilty in case I don’t feel like going out at the last minute (unless I’m going out with friends).
Being single also means being able to rest at home on weekends and recharging for the following work week. At the start of the year, I promised myself I would watch 50 movies, and I’m more than halfway. I still need to work on my goal of watching six series and reading 20 books, but because my social calendar has widened, I have time to accomplish this. It’s also incredibly hot so it means I have less excuses for going out.
Being single means going home every day after work, and being able to relax. I work in a very talkative industry so it feels nice to go home and spend the rest of the night in silence, or working on my passion projects. I have more time for myself, where I can reflect and plan for the future. Being alone has given me so much insight into where I am now, and where I want to be in the next few years. Most importantly, I can be with the people who love me best: my family.
Being single means I can build a meaningful connection with myself. Being alone means I can focus on loving myself and making me the best version of myself. I can learn new skills and write more. I don’t have to worry about anyone pulling me down or slowing my momentum.
But my goal is not to be single forever. Yes, I miss going out with someone I love to parties, movies, and events. Yes, I miss having a permanent date. I miss having someone to talk to and build connections with. Now is not the time. Now is about dating myself and becoming a better version. So when I do find that guy, I can give him the best of me.
This whole essay reminds me of a quote by one of my favorite philosophers, Carrie Bradshaw. In the series finale of Sex and the City, she said, “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Well, guess what? I’m single. And that’s also fabulous.
