To all NBSBs/NGSBs: Kalma, Love Will Come

Words by Gianna Sibal

I am twenty years old. And I know, I know—it’s still on the young side, I’ve just gotten past the teenager stage, I’m just starting to get a hang of the adult life, yadda, yadda, yadda. But those in their 20s—twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, and so on—we certainly feel like we’re running out of time, even though we have plenty.

And the fact that we’re also NBSBs isn’t helping. Gumawa na tayo ng Facebook group: samahan ng mga NBSBs/NGSBs.

Fellow hopeless romantics, isn’t it kind of ironic that we haven’t found any romance in our lives? And in our age, I know it can be worrying, yes, and it’s quite frustrating when people ask you: “Ba’t never ka pang nagka-relationship?”, or: “Weh? Ilang taon ka na ba? Kahit noong high school, walang jowa?”, or, my personal favorite: “E, jowa material ka naman. Ba’t never ka pang nagka-jowa?”

Jowa material—it makes me laugh sometimes. What does that even mean? Was that a compliment, an insult, or…?

When my friends in high school started getting boyfriends and girlfriends left and right, I wasn’t bothered by it. I told myself I had time. But now, in reunions, when family relatives ask, “O, ano, may boyfriend ka na ba?” and when batchmates in college are surprised when I say I’ve never even gone on a first date, it makes you wonder—is it really me who’s the problem? Maybe there’s something wrong with me, or maybe I’m just too choosy, or too intimidating, or too shy, or too average, or too something-in-between.

But recently, I’ve just realized—no, we’re not the problem. We’re a catch, people are missing out, we’re cute and we’re definitely jowa-ble. It’s just that the right time hasn’t come yet, and that’s not our fault.

(ALSO READ: Please Stop Telling Me that I’m Single Because I’m Too Picky)

We joke about how we’ll be single for the rest of our lives. We’re going to live alone, maybe with nine cats or something—and these are all pretty valid fears. It’s envying to see other people be in a relationship, and we want to know what it feels like, too. Minsan, nakakasawa na rin maging third wheel. I’m looking at you, big sister and friends.

But I don’t think we need to rush. We do have time, and we don’t need our families and friends telling us that we don’t. Society dictates that being single at this stage in our lives is lame, and being single since twenty plus years of our existence is even lamer, but really, screw that. I believe that love will come—and when it does, we won’t know what to do because we’ve never been in a relationship before will finally know what the magic of loving and being loved feels like.

And I’m not saying that there’s something wrong with putting yourself out there, meeting new people, setting up your online dating account, or going for opportunities (like WIM’s casting call). You’re free to do whatever you want, and if you want to go out and mingle, no one’s stopping you!

Personally, I just like to think that we don’t need to rush. Kalma. Love will come in the right moment, and until then, I’m stuck with loving my fictional characters! Plus, I hear that having a boyfriend/girlfriend will empty your pockets. So, let’s date ourselves and spend our money on ourselves instead 😉 

When someone tells you you’re jowa material, say thanks. I personally feel like that’s a compliment to us NBSBs/NGSBs.

To all the NBSBs/NGSBS, what do you think? Share with us your thoughts!