On quiet nights when I’m tired from work and the overwhelming responsibilities of adulthood, I find solace in memories of the past.
Sometimes, I wish I could go back to my college days. I can’t help but think of all the things I could have done, should have done, and would have done if I had known any better.
In college, you know who you are and what you want to be. You come to school and work hard, make friends, and enjoy life, believing that you were going to go far.
I wish I had that optimism and bright-eyed hope for the future once again.
I wish I took my studies more seriously. I wish I didn’t feel embarrassed to ask for help with classes I didn’t understand. I wish I paid more attention in class. I wish spent less time dating jerks and more time preparing for tests.
(I wish I knew that the time I spent dating said jerks in college was a complete waste of time.)
I wish I tried harder to be a better friend. I wish I knew that my college friendships would be the ones that would matter the most. I wish I hung out with a better crowd who actually cared about me and not because I was game to always eat out, have drinks, and party.
(I wish I had saved the money I spent eating out, having drinks, and partying.)
I wish I pursued what I was passionate about that early in my life. I wish I had been confident enough to do what I loved and enjoyed despite what other people thought.
I wish I had been brave enough to consider changing my major.
I wish I tried applying for an exchange program abroad to experience a new life among strangers in an unfamiliar place. I wish I hadn’t made graduation right away a priority, which convinced me to ignore the otherwise amazing opportunity I would never have again in my life.
I wish I didn’t rush myself. I wish I took time to enjoy my student life instead of dreaming up where I’d be and what I’d do when I graduated. I wish I didn’t work right away after graduating too.
I wish I took more pictures—memories I would have loved to go back to, no matter how sad, no matter how much I wish I could forget, no matter how different I was back then.
I’ve made many mistakes and missed so many opportunities in college. At the same time, I’ve made so many great friends and memories. It had been both the worst and the best time of my life.
But we can never change the past. And there’s no use wishing we could. All we can do now is to acknowledge what has been done, forgive myself for them, and move on, bringing with me the lessons I’ve learned and the knowledge I’ve gained and the maturity I’ve experienced from that time in the past.
I accept that I can never change what is unchangeable. But I can always decide what to do with my future so that I will never wish to turn back time ever again.
Do you feel the same way? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
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