Nope, I wouldn’t be writing about what to eat and where to go in this article.
Lately, I’ve been seeing social media posts about girlfriends not allowing their partners to go out and boyfriends controlling their girlfriends’ choice of clothes and whatnot. While I cannot speak for their relationships no matter how strongly I feel against them, I can share my personal learnings and realizations based on my fair share of toxic ones.
Truth be told – getting out of a bad relationship is not as easy as it sounds. It’s actually one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Here’s my short story. I had been with the guy since high school. It would be a lie for me to say that I regret the whole thing but what I really hate is the fact that I kept up with all the B.S. and I chose to ignore all the red flags and dismiss all the deal breakers.
Long story short: After the breakup, I was able to see things clearly and the relationship red flags were so visible that I couldn’t figure how blinded I was by love to not be able to see them before. Here are some examples below:
5. The Cussing
Profanity and shouting on top of extremely painful words were clear signs of verbal abuse. It couldn’t get more blatant than this red flag but 17-year-old me apparently thought it was forgivable.
4. The Extreme Jealousy
Aside from getting mad whenever there were other boys around, he was extremely jealous of my girl best friends, too. Can you just imagine being in a relationship with someone who nags you every single time you’re out with friends?
3. The Control Freak
He tried to control all aspects not just relationship-wise but even things I should be deciding for myself. He wouldn’t allow me to wear dresses, skirts and shorts. He reprimanded me never to stay out later than 7:00 freaking PM. He did not allow me to join the debate team and even asked me to leave my best friend’s birthday party because it was already passed my curfew.
Tbh, he was stricter than my own mom and dad.
2. The On-and-Off Relationship
I mean, if there were no issues, we wouldn’t have an on-and-off relationship, right? The pattern is there. I’d do something then he’d get all mad about it. I’d ask for space and then we would break up for a while. He’d tell me he would change and be more understanding then I’d say yes thinking it would eventually be better. It did not.
1. The “Nobody Else Will Love You”
Yup, he even went as far as telling me that if we break up, nobody else will ever love me the same way. He made me feel so unwanted and unloveable that I thought it would be better to stick with him than end up alone.
Aside from all these, I’ve also realized that if all of your trusted friends want your partner out of your life because he or she is doing you no good, you should believe them. After all, they only want what’s best for you.
If you’re also in a really bad relationship right now, ask yourself this: “Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person?” Remember, you have a choice and you deserve so much better than a controlling, lying and cheating partner. If that guy or girl can’t love you right, then please learn to love yourself enough to know your worth.
How did you end a bad relationship? Tell us in the comments!
