LOL: These Drinks Promise to Make You Prettier, Whiter, Taller, Etc.

We all think we can improve our appearances somehow. No matter how pretty or how handsome someone might look in our eyes, I am willing to bet that they go home and look at a part of their face or body that they aren’t happy with. That’s why the marketing of this juice stall in the center of Silawan Sur in Echague, Isabela is so genius! Not only do they serve delicious juices to quench people’s thirst, they do it in a funny way: by promising to provide the things that we all wish we had in life.

Alfred Galicia Alenas shares that he noticed the juices when he was buying stuff at the market. “Pansin ko po maraming bumibili dun habang binabasa nila sabay tawa po.” [I noticed that a lot of people were buying from them and laughing while reading what they said.]

Here are closer looks at what they offer:

Their buko juice or ‘buko jaws’ as they call it promises to give you whiter skin and make you prettier. Apparently, it’s even more effective than gluta, but don’t be too excited to see results. ‘Tiwala lang.’ :p

Their kalamansi juice or ‘kalamansi jaws’ as they call it promises better skin and a shorter waist line because you’ll lose weight from it. They even add a line from a Shanti Dope song – ‘makinis, maputi ka, pero ba’t ganun?’ because apparently, their kalamansi can also make your nipples pink.

Their melon juice or ‘melon jaws’ as they call it promises redder lips, a love life, and to go back to the dream weight that you once had.

Their red tea or ‘red tea jaws’ as they call it promises a better nose and a taller height! Sign me up!

Oh, and it doesn’t end there because the stall also has more juices coming out soon, including talong juice (eggplant juice) and ampalaya juice (bitter melon juice), which don’t really sound appealing… but with promises like that, who can say no?

“Natry ko na pong bumili dun minsan at sabay kuha ng litrato,” shares Alfred. “Yun nga po nakakagood vibes yung paninda ni ate. Mapapatawa nalang po talaga.” [I’ve tried buying from them before and taking pictures. They sell good vibes along with their juice. It’s impossible not to laugh whilst there.]

Have you seen anything similar here in the Metro? :)






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