Words by Kathlene Masilongan
The Filipino culture is rich and it’s evolving at a fast pace. However, there are a lot of things people love tossing around during casual conversation that just isn’t with the times. Come on guys, it’s 2019! It’s time to realize that some of the things that might have been nothing before are super dated now and come from dated views. It’s time to be more empathetic with each other and learn that just because something is widespread, it doesn’t make it right.
6. “Bakla lang ang nang-aaway ng babae”
First of all, that’s not true. Second of all, calling someone gay as an insult is an insult to every gay person on earth. You’re implying that being gay means being a lesser person and that gay men hate women, which is totally false plus it’s not good to generalize. It’s fine. We grow up throwing out these insults because we don’t know better, it’s what the adults always say, but now that we’re older we can improve.
5. “Maganda ka sana kaya lang…”
Filipinos love talking about physical appearances a lot, no? We love teasing each other. We love taking a person’s insecurities and turning it into a joke and this has to stop. “Maganda ka sana kaya lang mataba ka.” or “Maganda ka sana kaya lang maitim ka.” Really? What does that have to do with anything? When you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful. Why point out something that can be offensive? Just compliment the person and move on.
4. “Kalalake mong tao”
It’s not just women who experience this. Men are held to standards that the patriarchy has set for them and a lot of it is really toxic. Men should be providers, men should be brave, men should be strong, etc and when men fail it’s waved in their faces. Gender norms are a thing of the past. Men could be house-husbands, men could be artistic and sensitive, men could be whatever the hell they want.
3. “Babae kasi”
There’s a recent advertisement going around from a certain gas company that really hit me. Whenever I take a taxi or Grab and a bad driver is on the road they’d check to see if it was a woman behind the wheel and they’d go “babae kasi” when it is, as if women are the only bad drivers on the road. What does one’s gender have anything to do with the way they drive?
2. “Sayang. Pogi/maganda pa naman siya.”
Sisters (and brothers), it’s time to stop. When we see someone attractive and find out after that they’re gay, stop saying that it’s a waste. Why is it a waste? Why can’t gay people just be attractive? “All attractive men are gay.” It’s probably because they take care of themselves and their looks a bit more. We don’t really know why we say this, but we do, and it has to stop because honestly, it makes no sense.
1. “Kababae mong tao”
Women are put to such constraining standards growing up. Women need to be neat, women have to be prim and proper, women need to know how to cook… the list goes on. What’s sad is that these comments often come from women who are older and supposedly wiser but they’re victims of their own generation’s constraints of them so I understand. But just like men, women are free to be whatever they want to be. There are messy women and women who can’t cook and women who don’t want children and that’s alright. At the end of the day, we’re all just human.
What things do you wish Filipinos would stop saying? Tell us in the comments!