Jowang Jowa Na Ko But I’m Too Lazy to Date

I get jealous when I see couples in public. I’m gay, which makes me even more envious because that means they’re comfortable enough to be sweet in public. I’ve seen a few hold hands and once, I watched as a twosome fell asleep on the bus, with one guy sleeping on the shoulders of his boyfriend. And here I am, a 30 year old, single, alone, and creepy green-eyed monster.

According to my friend, meeting guys is not the problem. I’m not pangit naman. I’m not conventionally attractive but like ampalaya, I’m an acquired taste. I become better-looking the more drinks you have. My mom find me funny, too. And yet it’s been years since my last relationship and I can’t seem to form any interest in making an effort to find my next partner. That’s the problem. I’m too lazy.

I know for a fact that dating takes a lot of work. It’s not like in the movies where you meet someone in a bookstore, they fall in love with you, and the end credits play. In real life, dating takes time, getting to know each other, asking questions, and discovering flaws that you decide if it’s a red flag or not. In short, it takes effort.

But it’s understandable to not want to exert effort these days. The whole world is a mess. A lot of us are overworked and underpaid. Traffic is horrible. With all the things we have to deal with on a daily basis, we just want to use our free time to rest. We don’t have the time to blindly meet people, go on expensive dates, and worry about if they will like us. A lot of us don’t have the bandwidth to deal with rejection and heartbreak.

However, I would like to remind myself, and you reading this, that everything I said above is true. I look like Paulo Avelino after your sixth shot of tequila. Dating is tiring. We just want to rest. But if we want to find the love of our lives, to hold hands in public, and fall asleep on each other’s shoulders, we have to make an effort. We have to go on dates, even bad ones. Continue to put yourself out there and sooner or later, you’ll find someone. It can get tiring, but nothing will happen if you don’t do anything.

You’re going to go on a lot of bad dates. You’ll meet assholes, self-centered people who can’t stop talking about themselves. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on finding love. It’s there, and you won’t find it if you become lazy.

Okay, self. Let’s do this.

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