Ten years ago, I lost my mom to cancer and never paid a visit every 2nd of November. Losing someone is the same for everyone, it’s the kind of pain you can’t just talk about unless it has also happened to you. With people everywhere, overpriced flowers and extended travel time, All Souls’ Day to me is the worst. I dislike visiting my mother on All Souls’ Day, but there are other days when I do.
In 2007, the year she passed away, I was still in high school. Since then, I have been visiting to tell her about my every achievement in life. These are like getting into college then eventually graduating, having a boyfriend or landing a job. She could’ve been the first person I’d call to share all the good news with, but I’ll always want to be with her still every time there is something to celebrate.
Not all days are beautiful, though. There are stressful days in the office when you’re overwhelmed and you just need to listen to your number one fan saying “you can do it!” or days when you’re caught in a fight with your siblings and you need her to yell “stop” just so it stops. I can never hear those words again anyway, but simply knowing that she’s there watching over us helps me think about the right things to do because that’s probably what she wants, and I won’t disappoint her.
Paying a visit to the departed is not an obligation. I personally prefer visiting my mom alone. It is with her that I learned to appreciate serenity and solitude – sitting on her grave, just thinking about all the things I want to share with her. Our relatives will always be there to bring flowers every All Souls’ Day for sure, but I promise that it will also always be spring in our garden all year round long as I live.
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