During my long-term relationship with my singlehood (by choice), and all those Friday nights I seemed to have wasted vomiting overpriced fermented grapes called Dom Rose, I met and got approached by a lot of men in various interesting ways.
I’ve had guys open/approach me by saying obtuse things like “Excuse me, did you see my pet elephant?” or “Did you see those two girls fighting outside?” Or “It’s hot in here, are you?”
After a while, I realized I was getting attracted to guys with certain personality patterns that excited me and got me hooked. They were the ones who seemed to:
- exude confidence
- demonstrate value high enough to get me at the very least intrigued
- bypass my being hyper-critical and short-attention spanned
- possess an effective mix of cockiness and humor
- know how to make their intentions come across as vague that I couldn’t help but keep them under the radar
- be comfortable at showing vulnerability that appealed to my innate desire to help heal the emotionally wounded
- know how to put me in a wild emotional roller coaster ride
…and basically just knew how to effectively lead and seduce me, and probably many other women since I consider myself pretty challenging to seduce.
These kinds of guys didn’t come aplenty that going out to meet men started to become a lot like an addictive game of Russian Roulette. Sometimes I met such exciting guys, most of the time I didn’t. That interval of random rewards made me want more of the emotional pleasure and pain I was deriving from it.
Just like any addiction, at some point, you realize it’s no longer healthy because it’s already starting to control you and direct your life. At which point, you must make a decision to either go cold turkey on it, wean it, or learn to understand it so that you win your control back. Being the inquisitive, stiletto-wearing alpha female that I was, I chose the latter.
On my journey to understanding and studying it, I was led to the discovery of a group of unscrupulous men who actually elevated picking up women to the level of the arts, thus giving them a competitive advantage in meeting, dating, attracting and pulling women, whoever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Such art inspired romantic comedy box office hits such as The Hitch, Crazy Stupid Love, etc. These men call themselves Pick-up Artists.
The guys that came close to crushing the walls I’ve built around my heart and got me emotionally hooked like a cokehead, happened to be either very well versed and trained in the art of picking up women aka Pick-up Arts, or were naturals at it.
What I learned from Pick-up Arts that can be practical to you and improve your own dating and sex life
Openers are basically what laymen would call pick-up lines except they are more covert and sophisticated, i.e. “Excuse me, did you see my pet elephant?” or “Did you see those two girls fighting outside?” Or “It’s hot in here, are you?” or “Excuse me, can I get your opinion on something? Who lie more, men or women?”
In contrast to how amateurs would do it: “Excuse me, Miss. May I know your name?” or “Hi, miss beautiful, can I get your number?” which not only reek of overwhelming conspicuousness and total lack of creativity (and bordering on desperation) but can also be easily suspected of a sexual assault waiting to happen.
There is a common notion in the Pick-up world that most women in dating pools find Mr. Nice Guys boring, predictable, and forgettable. Thus, these pick-up artists mastered the art of demonstrating the effective balance between cockiness and being funny at the same time. They believe that the right amount of cockiness is an effective way of indirectly demonstrating higher value than the women they are gaming or seducing, or than their actual value, while being funny kind of balances it and activates those trust and other feel-good chemicals in women’s brains that make them want to spend more time in the pick-up artist’s company, thus making them more open and vulnerable to their follow up seduction tactics.
Social proof means demonstrating your social value by showing the woman that you actually have friend–which imply things like you probably are not a serial killer or a felon or a fugitive, or that there are actually people who find you valuable and trust you.
When you are able to successfully demonstrate to her that you actually have friends or are already liked by other people specially other women, in her mind she either consciously or unconsciously processes it as “Oh he has friends. I wonder what they are friends with him for. Is he rich? Is he generous? Is he smart? Is he powerful? Is he fun to be around? Is he kind? Is he loyal? Is he exceptional at something? Is he influential? Does he have high survival, replication and social value? What is it about him that makes these people want to be friends with him?”
When a girl sees that other people see value in your company, she will likely want to have a piece of that as well, thus making her spend more time with you which consequently gives you a wider opportunity to pull some more of your seduction weaponry on her.