Be kind to him.
When he’s happy, smile with him. Not just because it feels good to feel happy, but because his smile will only grow bigger knowing that you’re happy, too. That’s the kind of guy he is, happy if you’re happier. Kind-hearted, even if he won’t admit how tender he is inside. That’s something he’ll only let slip late, late at night when you’re both exhausted but stubborn enough to still keep talking even if the sun is coming up. He’ll say it while looking away, bashful, eyes averted before meeting yours.
Make wishes with him. Tell him all of the wish-making secrets you know. The first peal of a church bell or the height of a ferris wheel–anywhere where a little bit of magic awaits us. He will wish for something special and won’t tell you at first. But it’ll be that the world gives you the very best, even if he can’t. And you will say, “that’s the sweetest thing.” And he’ll get flustered but smile. Treasure that instance, because it’s rare and sweet and wonderful. One of the best things about him.
He has a way of laughing that warms your heart. Because it’s small at first, then it bounces into something big. The same way his face breaks into a grin when he listens intently to a story you’re telling and you get to the funny part. It’s a big jump, and his expressions are full of those. When he frowns it’s small then big, when he smiles it’s faint then he’s beaming–and all you can think of is how warm it feels when the sun touches you.
When he’s stressed, he’ll pretend he can take it all. He can’t. So you’ll have to take some of it. Whether it’s just helping him sort out his notes or showing him you care by recreating vines for him so he can laugh, he will say he loves you. When he’s low, you lift him up. When he’s asking for space, remind him of how close you are in case that space becomes a distance he doesn’t want to tread–remind him you’re willing to tread it for him.
When he’s sad, he will retreat. He won’t want anything. Be thoughtful. Paint him flowers. Sing him a song. Send him a message saying you’re right there and that you love him, whatever may be on his mind. He will be vulnerable, tell you he may have not expected it, tell you how warm your care is. How lucky he is to have you at all. Even if you feel luckier, let him unload himself, because he doesn’t always get the chance to.
Remember things unique to him. How he can’t wear socks to bed. How he thinks there’s a monster in his basement still (and so do you). Remember how he likes his food, how he has to pour the cereal first before the milk and gets impatient with food that just came out of the microwave, hence all of his burnt tongue moments. Because they’re small things, but he loves that you remember them. Remember how he can’t sit down when a new album drops, or how he Facetimes you when he’s drunk so you know where he’s going. Remember how much he hates mint chocolate chip.
He has many ways of saying he loves you. You have to figure out what they are to truly appreciate the depth and warmth of his heart. Sometimes it’s teasing you for still being awake at 6 AM talking to him. Sometimes it’s him rolling his eyes and holding back a smile at a video compilation you made for him when he was sick. Sometimes it’s him getting drunk and saying “I don’t want to talk to anyone else except you right now.” Sometimes it’s him calling you up to remind you you’re not ugly like you think you might be, telling you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever met. And he means it. Believe him. Because he might not always know how to say “I love you.” And when he does, you know he can’t possibly take it back.
Even if he hurt me, I want, more than anything, for him to be cared for. This is where you come in.
Be kind to him.
Be kind to him. And love him well.
