Brilliantly-Dumb Halloween Costumes I’ve Had Over the Years That You Can Totally Try Out

Written by Howi Bakunawa

Halloween doesn’t get enough respect in the Philippines. For some, it might just feel like a strange halfway point in the four-month long Christmas season. Thinking this way spoils the best part of Halloween — the costumes. 

I think the problem is how we set the bar too high or too low when it comes to Halloween costumes. There isn’t any in between. A good costume doesn’t necessarily have to be the most expensive or the most accurate, and pretending that it does only discourages people from trying altogether. Sometimes, the best costumes are the dumbest.

So with that, let me take you on tour back to the dumbest Halloween costumes I’ve had over the years. You can try them out for yourself if you want to; but with these tips I’ll give you, you can also make a costume that represents your own personal, unique and profound kind of dumbness.

LOOK: 20 Weird Halloween Costumes You Can Find Online

First up, we have what I wore back in the year 2011: 

That guy in a dress? Yeah, that’s me. Look, it has pockets!!!

I was 16 when this photo was taken. Back then, I still hadn’t read a single work of critical feminist theory, but look at me — already defying heteronormative standards and looking hella great at the same time! This brings me to the first rule of dumb costumes: it has to be unconventional. People will have to look at your costume and say: “Why didn’t I think of that before?”

The answer, of course, is that you didn’t think of it because it was dumb.

Look at this photo and tell me that it doesn’t just scream peak-2012 energy 

This was the year when I had the brilliant idea of convincing my cousins to dress up together with me as the trio from Twilight. I went as Jacob (#TeamJacobForever). All I did was wear a pair of denim shorts, draw a tribal tattoo on my shoulder with some pentel pen and, of course, ditched my shirt.

The second rule of having a dumb costume is to make sure that you challenge yourself. If you don’t challenge yourself with your costume, then you aren’t engaging with the full extent of your creativity. During that year, I just really wanted to see if I could get away without wearing a shirt in public (spoiler: I totally could). That’s another thing that makes being dumb so wonderful — it feels liberating. 

Things are only going to get dumber from here 

The third rule of dumb costumes is that you have to think outside the box. I did this by literally dressing up as a box. No further explanations necessary.

I had hair but everything was shaved when the Fire Nation attacked

The year I went as Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender was my piece de resistance of dumb Halloween costumes. It was so good that you could even use this as a case-study on how to be brilliantly dumb. Let me tell you the story:

I had been growing my hair out for some time before this that I had made it seem I had no intention of cutting it. It was all a ruse, a ploy to lure my family into a false sense of security in order to heighten their feelings of inevitable shock once I had revealed that I had gone and shaved my head. Once the time had finally come, I emerged from the bathroom where I put on my monk’s robes to the room where my cousins and I were staying and revealed my bald head. I can’t forget what happened next.

One of my cousins ran out of the room and into the hallway, laughing as hard as he could. I had been planning this costume for a long time, and the reactions I got were more than worth it. This brings me to the next rule of dumb costumes: you absolutely have to commit to it.

…so this happened

This was my costume from the year I decided to go as a man who just got out of the shower. I really can’t make any of this up. I went out into the streets, from door to door, house to house, trick-or-treating dressed in a towel with shaving-cream slathered all over my face. Someone even asked if he could take a photo with me.

This is where the final and most important rule of dumb costumes comes into play: you mustn’t take yourself too seriously. If you have fun, even if you look like the dumbest person in the world, someone else will be smiling with you. That’s the joy of Halloween — and I’m urging you to try and go out in your most original, creative, out-of-the-box and above all: dumbest costume and experience that joy for yourselves.