Words by Aira Mae Parado
Featured photo by Stacey-Ann Cole
Going through heartbreak is probably one of the most disintegrating things we can experience in our lives. It can be easy to lose sight of who we are–even our mind and body become dysfunctional. It affects every fiber of our being.
We all know somebody, if not ourselves, who has gone through the agony of a failed relationship. We often talk about how difficult it must have been for that person, and sometimes, we feel sorry for him/her.
Of course, heartbreak is ugly. I don’t intend to romanticize it but in hopes of getting us all inspired, I have collected stories from people who allowed heartbreak to teach and transform them into someone better.
Here are 12 people who shared how heartbreak changed them for the better.
(Photo by: @mrbokita)
12. “I became resilient towards pain.”
“So it happened like 5 years and 3 or 4 months ago. Long story short, she left without a word. So how did it change me? Three ways.
First, after that event, I became a pessimist. I turned down a lot of opportunities during that time because I felt extremely pathetic.
Second, I became less trustful of people. I cared less. I dedicated all my time hiding my heart as safe as possible. I became less interested in romanticism and more into weird stuff which I dare not enumerate here.
Third, it broke my life song. My life became dull and my soul, stagnant. It became a nightmare to me. Happiness seemed only an outward appearance and never an inward thing for me but…
I learned a lot! I became resilient towards pain, and my mentality has grown exponentially. I would not dare say I became mature, but I definitely developed and thrived. Hard as it may sound, life will still be a cycle of ups and downs, and her leaving was one of my down to hell moments. Although that being said, I would always thank her for everything. After all, she gave me so much for the little things I gave her.”
11. “Everything, even love, is temporary.”
“My biggest heartbreak taught me the concept of self-love, self-acceptance, and forgiveness. It made me realize that things don’t stay as they are. Things change, people grow. Heartbreak taught me that everything, even love, is temporary. But despite what happened, I’m proud to be slowly picking up my heart’s shattered pieces, and fixing myself. I know, in time, I will be stronger and firmer than I was before.”
-Jamille Anne Legal
10. “Everything heals in time.”
“I won’t lie [about] having a tough time dealing and coping with it, but as the old cliche thought [goes]: “everything heals in time.” With the experience, I learned to value trust and I became selective of whom I should really trust.”
9. “My faith in God has been put to test.”
“You get to experience heartbreak when a relationship ends. But the biggest downfall in our relationship continues to shatter me into pieces even if we’re not yet over. As a matter of fact, we’ve been together for 5 years now. You might think I am with an abusive guy, or a cheater for a long time now but no, I’m not. This is actually one good relationship—a relationship worth saving and keeping ’til marriage, something that’s truly blessed by God.
Our years together made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But he suddenly decided to heed God’s call; to go to a college seminary. In spite of him choosing a different college life, we continued what we have. My faith in God has been put to [the] test since I have to decide whether to let him go or to fight for him—a choice between what God wants and what I want. His decision was so painful to me that it caused me to feel selfish, and ask God to change his mind. But over time, I realized that he needs my support and prayers. I realized that he went to seminary to decide, not because he has decided. And I have to be honest, I also felt God calling me to discern on my vocation. And so, this heartbreak has pushed me to listen to what God really wants me to do instead of grieving over the possibility of not ending up together; to focus more on finishing a degree, and to pray for what God wills to be done. And who knows? Maybe one day, we get to see each other in church, not to marry each other but to serve in a mass.”
8. “I learned to practice putting myself into someone else’s shoes.”
“I used to be a close-minded person. But now, I consider everyone else’s feelings, and I learned to practice putting myself into someone else’s shoes. I learned to appreciate small efforts.”
-Jazmir Myrene Mamangun