I haven’t been pregnant for that long. I just entered my second trimester, but I have already developed so many fears since I found out about our little bundle of joy. I was talking to some of my friends who are moms and they said it was normal. Given the history of my anxiety, I was so afraid to fall into a downward spiral… especially now.
If you are a mom or a mom-to-be, then you can probably relate to some of these fears (rational or not) haha!
10 Fears Only New Moms-to-Be Will Understand
My baby might come out when I poop.
This is one of the funniest thing I fear. I’ve always had digestion problems, so I used to take supplements to help with my bowel movements. I had to stop taking them because some of them might not be safe for the baby, though. My pre-natal vitamins aren’t helping for doing a #2, either.
Every time I have to push hard, I stop midway because I’m afraid that pushing too hard will make my baby fall out. I know this sounds silly, but it’s a real fear for pregnant ladies who have complications or what some people call ‘mahina yung kapit’.
Exercising may cause a miscarriage.
I’ve always been active. I run at least 3 times a day, do circuit training, and work out at home; but ever since I got pregnant, I stopped all of these exercises because several people told me that they are unsafe for the baby. When I asked my doctor, though, she said it is perfectly safe to workout, especially if your body was already used to those activities before conceiving. Though hardcore workouts may not be advisable, doctors do recommend to stay active. You can go brisk walking, swimming, or attend some pre-natal yoga or pilates classes.
I might eat something I’m not supposed to.
There are so many food items that you can’t eat while you’re pregnant. Well, at least that’s what I thought. As with any regular diet, moderation is the key. Most pregnant women experience vomiting during their first trimester. I didn’t (thank God), but it’s probably because of the amount of food that I eat per meal. I eat at least four times a day, but only in little portions. This was even before my OB told me to do so. This way, your body can properly digest the food and you won’t feel too bloated and end up throwing up.
There are superstitions saying that you can’t eat this and that; but as long as your doctor says it’s okay, trust them.
Two major NO-NO’s during pregnancy, though, are alcohol and caffeine. Though both can be consumed in (very) little amounts, it is safer to just avoid them entirely.
I don’t have enough money.
One of the biggest problems couples face during this time is their finances. In fact, this is the first problem that comes with starting a family. After all, it’s one thing to feed yourself, but raising a family is a whole new ball game. Checkups, vitamins and the actual process of giving birth are expensive and definitely things that couples worry about.
During this time, you have to sit down with your partner and figure things out. Think about how you can save money and get your finances in check. If you and your partner are both working, there are maternity and paternity benefits that you can get from the government. These things can help you a bit with budgeting.
Preparation is key! So if you found out about the pregnancy in (at least) the first trimester, you still have time to prepare. Get that raket while you can or work overtime. You can also give up some things that you are used to having. Milk Tea? Coffee? Those things can save you hundreds of pesos in a week.
I might gain too much weight.
‘Tumataba Ka’. That line is overused and you will hear that over and over again during your pregnancy. It’s one of the things you should never say to someone (pregnant or not), but you will hear it so many times.
Though weight gain comes with the territory, it is important to learn how to gain weight the steady and healthy way. There is a suggested weight gain weekly and monthly. Anything beyond that are fats that you will have a hard time getting rid of after giving birth.
Let’s debunk the saying that you are ‘eating for two’ because there are only a certain number of calories that the body needs during this time. You are not eating for two full-grown adults – remember that. The trick is to only eat things that are good for you. You may crave for sweets, fast food, and other junk foods; but those are the foods that you and your baby don’t need. Like what your parents told you as you were growing up: eat fruits and vegetables instead.
What if I die?
Let’s face it: pregnancy is not a walk in the park. Even if you try your best to be healthy and do everything that your doctor orders, there can still be complications. This is a real fear. All bodies look the same, but how your body works is different from other people.
As your pregnancy progresses, your body changes and there can be complications that come with that. Even after you decide if you want a normal birth or a c-section, there are still risks involved.
The stress will get to you, so just enjoy the journey and do whatever it is that is good for you and your baby.
My partner might get tired of me.
The mood swings are real, yo! You think you had terrible mood swings during your period? It’s actually the same when you are pregnant. Because of the shifting of your hormones, your feelings will be a bit extreme. In fact, you might end up crying, whether you’re happy, sad or mad.
Couples argue sometimes, but this time of your life is something worth celebrating.
Though pregnancies are different for everyone, you may or may not have higher libido, so your sex drive can be different from when you were not pregnant. Though sex is fairly safe during pregnancy, you should know if you feel comfortable doing it. We know it’s complicated to take care a growing baby inside of you, as well as a relationship; but you will eventually find a fine line between the two. You will discover that experiencing this journey with your partner will make the nine months of pregnancy much easier.
My family and friends might not be accepting of the news.
In the beginning, you might have a hard time telling people you’re pregnant. You might be afraid that people will judge you or tell you things that you don’t want to hear.
For younger moms-to-be, they might fear disappointing their families or not being accepted by their families. You might worry that your friends will still see you as the party-girl that they always go out with. These are all valid fears, so make sure that you accept yourself and your baby first. That way, everyone else can.
Am I ready?
This is the main thing that keeps me up at night. I might feel ready today, but then I find myself asking myself again the next day, and the next day, and the next day.
The thing is: no matter how much you prepare for motherhood, you will not be 100% ready. There are many factors that you will have to weigh. However, you shouldn’t worry to much, either; you’ll figure it out along the way. You have your partner, family and friends to help you out, after all.
Will I be a good parent?
I think I am a particularly good person, but I am not sure if I can raise a child properly. When I look around, there are parents that do amazing jobs and I simply don’t know if I am up to par.
Whether you read parenting books or have practiced with your siblings, you can’t get it 100% right. Your kid can cry, scratch their knees, and get allergies; but all of these things are things that you can learn from.
Though there are many fears that you might develop as you go along, these are things that you can always answer. You can find ways to alleviate these fears or find solutions to get rid of them. Your baby is on the way. It’s a magical journey. Make sure you enjoy it and don’t wallow in your fears. Just be there for them, because above all, love is all they need.