There’s an ongoing issue all over social media right now talking about a tweet that stated: ‘Lesson for all girls: don’t date a boy who can’t even take you out to a nice dinner place or even a movie. DATE A MAN WHO CAN DO THAT’ followed by another tweet that stated: ‘If he doesn’t have money, well, that’s not your problem. Tell him to work first before landi’.
This struck a chord in me, not just because of how badly it was phrased, but because I actually know people with that same mindset.
I’m sorry, girls, but I have to disagree. Because honestly, it doesn’t matter if a guy has money or not. What matters is the amount of effort that he puts into your relationship and whether he values you as a person or not. And if money is what you truly care about, then who says you need a guy for that? Work your ass off, be the independent kick-ass woman that you are and make money yourself!
Besides, let me remind you that Satine chose Christian, a penniless writer, over a duke in ‘Moulin Rouge’; Rose Dewitt-Bukater chose Jack, a guy who won his boat tickets playing cards, over Cal in ‘Titanic’; and Bianca chose Cameron over that oh-so-popular guy in ’10 Things I Hate About You’. Movies end that way for a reason: they know that money cannot buy you happiness. :p Okay. I know those are just movies, but seriously: what are you going to do with money if the guy (or girl) is a douche, a cheater or just downright rude or abusive?
On a more personal note, my dad used to be poor. It’s such a ‘Lolo story’, but he always tells us about how he grew up with just one pair of shoes and how he didn’t get to taste sushi until he was in his 30s. It wasn’t until many, many, many years later that he actually became an Ambassador (he was well into his 50s by the time he actually became one). If money had mattered so much to my mom at the time, I probably wouldn’t exist right now. I basically grew up with the mindset that everybody is equal, regardless of how much money they currently make. Besides, their present doesn’t necessarily define their future. A person may not be rich now, but may still grow up to be something great.
Let’s face it: not everybody has the same privileges in life. As such, we should not look down on those who are less privileged than us. This isn’t ‘romanticising poverty’, as some people put it; I’m just saying that everybody deserves the right to crush on people and court people and love people just as much as everyone else. Just because they don’t have as much money as you doesn’t mean they can’t put their hearts on the line.
Just putting this here, so you don’t get bored. :p
Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, though, and I respect that. I used to have a good friend who used to try and convince me to break up with my then-boyfriend just because he didn’t have a car and we had to commute everywhere. My friend would constantly tell me, “You deserve someone who will actually save money to buy a car, so that he can drive you around.”
I found that funny because, well, I don’t mind commuting and it didn’t bother me that he didn’t have a car. I also knew that he didn’t make that much money at work and that he surrendered 25% of his paycheck every month to his parents to help pay for bills at home. My friend didn’t know any of that and yet judged him on the mere fact that he didn’t have a car.
That friend of mine was also very particular about a guy’s background and education. Every time I would date someone new, she would ask where he studied. I never really took things like that into consideration. That just goes to show that everyone really does have different standards when it comes to dating. It just so happens that I prefer Jollibee dates and movie marathons at home than going out in a car and spending a lot of money.
If you want to be spoiled and taken out to dates on a regular basis, then by all means look for that rich guy who will provide you with those needs. However, being a mom in her almost-30s who has dated numerous guys – both rich and not-so-rich – I would highly recommend looking for a guy who treats you well instead – someone who makes an effort into making you feel good about yourself; someone who doesn’t necessarily spend a ton of money on you, but still makes you feel like a million bucks; someone who supports your goals and your dreams and helps you reach them; someone who loves you loyally and wholeheartedly; and someone who accepts your baggage and never treats you badly. Those things are so much more important than what money could ever buy. But that’s just me.