I am a big believer in love. I am a spammer of heart emojis, I love to tell my friends I love them, I love writing down the names of all the people I was able to make smile that day. It’s not as if I’m cynical or like I don’t believe in love–I definitely do. But all things in balance–with those good, warm feelings there must also be its counterpart: Heartbreak.
Being heartbroken feels different for everybody. Some are angrier, some are sadder, some just don’t sleep. Break-ups can cause these emotions to really flare up and make themselves known until you’ve found yourself crying into your third pint of ice cream for the day. And while break-ups are never created equal, they almost always always suck.
And what’s worse? Break-ups near Valentine’s season. I personally love Valentine’s. I love hearing people plan stuff for the people they love. It’s sweet and makes me so happy. My favorite conversation I overheard the day before Valentine’s day was when someone said: “I made her a Disney love medley and I’m gonna ask her to be my girlfriend na.”
But for those of us who are broken-hearted after a break-up, it kind of sucks being reminded of how hurt we are and how in love other people are. You start to question what you did wrong, what happened, all that. And while it feels terrible, it doesn’t have to be.
But instead of wallowing in self-pity and despair (things I am particularly excellent at), here are some things you can do instead!
11. Surprise your friends
A lot of the time we’re occupied by how sad we are that we want to be the ones to get surprised with love and affection but, honestly, doing something for someone else feels just as good. Not to say that you should only look for the personal feeling of satisfaction when you do something for someone else, but making someone smile about how thoughtful you were being to them is just another bright spot altogether.
It’s easy to fall into a sadness pit and stay there but one way to shake yourself out of it is to try to actively make someone else happy. Let them know you’re thinking of them. Valentine’s isn’t just for romantic love, after all!
10. Volunteer for the day
Speaking of making someone else smile, why not volunteer somewhere? If your friends aren’t that into receiving gifts, there are tons of foundations and organizations that will always appreciate a helping hand. Having you there will make someone else’s Valentine’s day very very special.
9. Solo trip away from all the commercialized promos
Sometimes it’s hard to be surrounded by billboards and social media posts about Valentine’s coming up. Whether it’s a 2-in-1 romantic dinner promo or something, it just makes you think of your ex. And you really don’t need to deal with that negativity after a really terrible break-up.
How about pack up for a solo trip somewhere? Maybe an overnight stay or just a daytrip–whatever it is, rediscover yourself as a person you love, too. You can be your own Valentine! That bad break-up probably made you forget how nice it is to take care of yourself.
8. Catch up on sleep
Let’s be real, you probably haven’t slept. It’s hard going to bed when they’re on your mind all the time. I feel that. I don’t think I’ve slept properly either. And it’s even harder knowing that with every minute that passes, it’s another minute longer that you aren’t together anymore.
You need to rest. Big plans won’t make any difference if you’re terribly sleep-deprived. You need to care for yourself. You’re the one person you can rely on to start moving forward.
7. Treat yourself for the day
You listened to all these sweet plans and promises of what you’d do for Valentine’s Day only to be left in the dirt. Yikes. Now it feels like something you don’t wanna celebrate. But don’t let that stop you from treating yourself (responsibly)!
Maybe you wanna go shopping to forget, that’s perfectly fine. Or your favorite food? Go for it. “Table for one” doesn’t have to sound so bad–you don’t feel pressure to eat faster, make conversation, or even to wait for another person. It’s all you.
6. Treat your family to something nice
Speaking of treating someone, why not your family? They would definitely appreciate it! And it’ll give you lots of time to bond and laugh together, something they might have missed in the throes of your heartbreak. Spend some quality time with your family if you want–that might just help you out in the long run.
Honestly, food solves everything.
4. Buy a bath bomb and soak in the bath
Tbh it’s pretty satisfying to watch one of those heart bath bombs dissapear into the water. Also because it’s heart-shaped. Jk. But what better day to make yourself all pampered and lovely than Valentine’s? Aside from your birthday, of course. And, really, any day you feel like reminding yourself that you’re the star.
What better way to get your mind off someone than to read? Immerse yourself in another world, one where you’re a witch/wizard or where you’re a crime detective about to crack the case. It’ll do so much good for you!
2. Take care of yourself
This is so important. Maybe in the process of the break-up, you weren’t taking care of yourself even at the most basic level. Get rid of the booze. Stock up your fridge. Take a good shower. Moisturize. Remind yourself that you are worthy with or without a significant other. You are beautiful and strong and you’ve made it this far and you should be proud of yourself.
1. If applicable, wish them well
If it was particularly bad and they did something truly awful to you then you don’t have to. That’s why I say “if applicable.” Maybe things didn’t turn out well but you still care, wish them well. You don’t have to contact them or reach out, but just in your mind. Just hope they’re doing okay, don’t linger too much, and move forward. You loved them once upon a time.
What are you going to be doing this Valentine’s day? Let us know!