Where do broken hearts go?
I know they go somewhere happy, what I don’t know is when they will reach that somewhere happy.
Breaking up. Splitting. End of an era.
As Mace would say, “Yung eight years namin tinapos niya lang in seven words. Ganun na lang ‘yun? I-explain naman niya kung bakit.”
But Anthony has a point, “Hindi ka na niya mahal. Yun na yun. Wala nang mas lilinaw pa dun.”
Yes, kahit di kayo close that is the truth you need to hear.
Whether it ended via text, over coffee, or while being intimate in some private place, the point is, it’s over. There is no next time.
And the hard truth is, not everyone has an Anthony who will be there at the airport, who will get drunk with you at the karaoke bar, go with you to Baguio and Sagada, and be your crying shoulder during the enduring times. Oftentimes, you have to start doing it on your own. It’s tough but like what this tiny potato said, you can do the thing!
I think most of us, at some point in our lives, have been broken. I had my fair share of heartbreaks. Some are tougher than the others especially if your grade-school relationship ended with the other piece fulfilling what used to be your dreams together with another stranger.
But that’s that. They are happy. You’ll be happy.
As some say, Ang ampalaya inuulam, hindi ginagawang feelings.
So, what did I do to pick myself up? I’m no Tita Whitney but I hope what I did/am doing can help some of those broken hearts out there.
Like buckets and buckets of tears until you run dry.
Let yourself mourn the loss.
I cried myself dry. When I thought I was done crying, I cried some more. Until I couldn’t cry anymore. Until my head felt like it was splitting in two.
Mahirap kasi maalala at maalala mo. Antagal eh.
I cried so much I had to drink more than the recommended number of glasses of water per day.
I used up all the rolls of tissue we had at home, I had to wipe my tears on Good Morning towels and Uniqlo shirts.
Oo, nag-walling/flooring/crying in the rain ako.
But I promised myself after, tama na ha.
I broke my promise many times. I still shed a few tears every now and then. But it gets better.
Choose to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Before the era of social networks, ending things were a lot simpler. You say goodbye, walk away, and never hear again from/about them again until you’re ready. But now, it’s trickier. So I chose to protect myself from getting hurt even more.
I cannot deactivate my social media accounts (because work) so I unfollowed/unfriended people.
It’s not that I am mad and I wanted to cut ties. It’s just that I cannot control what they post but I can control what I see.
Out of sight, out of mind.
I cannot prevent (and not that I want them to prevent themselves as well) them from posting happy photos with the space that used to be yours, but I can choose not to get hurt anymore.
Making this decision, it’s me, NOT them.
Before computers, hard disks, and the cloud were popular, we used to keep letters and photos. So when split ups happen, some people continue keeping their hard memories while others tear them apart or go the distance and burn all the stuff.
This isn’t possible today. You can delete all your photos together on your hard disks/memory cards and even on social media. Kaya lang hassle especially kung matagal kayo.
Though I didn’t do this, I just don’t look at them anymore. I see no reason to. Sometimes, it pains to remember so just delete.
Kung gusto mo, wasakin mo yung hard disk mo kung san nakasave ang pictures niyo para intense.
Or just reformat it.
Be in the company of people who love you unconditionally.
Two words. Family. Friends.
In this trying time, you need a strong support system so you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
When you’re ready, tell the story. If you have to, tell it over and over. You may cry again the first few times but after some time it just wears you down that you won’t cry anymore.
Sometimes a listening ear is all you need to feel a little bit better.
Also, mothers know best. When my mom said that it will get better. I kind’a felt that it really would.
There will be sleepless nights and sleepless mornings.
Find console by talking to Him.
I am not a very religious person so when my brother told me that he prayed a lot when he was experiencing the same, I prayed and always started with Our Father…
Then, I realized, praying can be just like talking to Him.
It would get me to rest a few times.
When my mind was still a complete mess, I went to this chapel in Pampanga, which my close friends recommended. I lit a candle and wish on a well.
The pain was still there pero at least nabawasan (with going to Mt. Kiltepan).
If you still can’t get rest, get drunk.
But make sure to drink responsibly.
Drink at home.
Drink in the company of good friends.
Drink to numb the pain for a bit.
But remember this should only be a temporary thing.
Until you can go on without the need for inebriation.
Sabi nila, if you get yourself full, it’s a sign of loving yourself.
Yes, eat that good ice cream if you need to.
In my case, I run. Okay, okay, I brisk walk.
I started taking long walks/jogs.
It clears my head so I don’t get to think of any sad stuff.
Plus, the endorphin boost after the workout makes me happy.
And I sleep a lot for recuperation.
Also, I started losing a bit of weight so I got that going for me.
Make “getting physical” a daily habit. Walk and walk.
Getting physical is also like a virus that most friends join in. We’ve been brisk walking a lot every weekend.
But we indulge on food after so better cut on that part soon.
Continue believing in love.
It’s out there somewhere.
You don’t have to go on searching for it or force it into you.
You, what did you do to move on?