What would you do if people would tell you that your love is wrong? That your love is not valid, because both your gender orientations are not what is deemed “normal”?
I think you would agree that that would suck. To be judged, mocked, and to be held back on love because of the opinions of society is a painful ordeal. But unfortunately, there are millions of people in this country, and around the world, who go through this every. single. day. And it’s not okay.
We hope you take the time to read this, whether you are someone who are celebrating PRIDE alongside us or not, because these people have real stories, real hurt, real love, and like everyone else, they deserve to be heard.
Here are 9 LGBTQ+ couples letting sharing their stories, and what they wish people would understand about them.
9. Vail and Juniper, dating 3 months
Vail: “Love is always good. If it hurts, it’s not love. If it doesn’t make you feel warm, it’s not love. If it makes you feel tired, it’s not love. But love? It is always good. What Juniper and I have is love. It doesn’t hurt anyone. I have been the happiest I’ve been. I don’t understand how anyone can be against something good and pure. I wish people who disapprove would look past their prejudices. We’re just two people in love; there’s nothing wrong about that.”
Juniper: “I wish people wouldn’t invalidate the queerness in our relationship, in terms of looking like a straight couple. We’re both tall and stand out so people tend to notice us more, but really, we just want to kiss like any people in love would do without fear of people judging us.”
8. Mesh and Jam, dating for 8 months
Mesh and Jam
“We are both women, so stop asking who the ‘guy’ is in the relationship because it suggests the idea that there should always be a guy in a relationship. It encourages stereotypes. Our love is valid and real and we deserve the rights just as hetereosexual couples do. Reasons for their disapproval is rooted upon blind beliefs, prejudice, conservative upbringings, etc. so I do hope they find it in their hearts to wake up and learn and accept that love knows no gender.”
7. Unnamed Couple
Guy 1: “I wish they understood love has no boundaries.”
Guy 2 “I wish they understood that love calls upon all of us to love. It’s free to give and it’s free to choose.”
6. Sydney and Glayndy, dating for 11 months
Sydney and Glayndy
“I always wished they’d understand that we just want the same rights as everybody else. I am surrounded by people who accept me, including my mom, but I can’t say the same for my dad. It hurts but not surprising. To be honest, I think I’m lucky that I only got off with a small scratch on my identity, but a lot of people from the LGBTQ+ community suffer from murders, sexual assaults, threats, and bullies everyday, which no one should be subject to.
These are usually caused by misinterpreted verses from the bible, and when people pull out the religion card, I shake my head as this is not about religion, especially when it’s about approving the SOGIE Equality Bill and same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is not only a confirmation of a lifelong love with your partner, but it also includes having the same rights that married couples have, like adopting children. The SOGIE Equality Bill is for people to actually have the common human decency to treat other human beings properly, a practice that should’ve been instilled in you when you were born.
People who have the AUDACITY to be homophobic have no say in deciding if we deserve rights or not, because they don’t understand what it feels like to be different in a society full of hate and toxicity. My partner and I aren’t doing anything wrong. We’re just two people in love, and if we were harassed I won’t stay silent because it’s not what we deserve.”
5. Miles and Dane, dating for 6 months
Miles and Dane
“Expressing has no gender nor religion but it has a face, an identity we uphold. I chose to stand up for my own and for the people I love, especially Dane, my family, and my closest friends. I NEED disapproving people to accept the fact that their self principles and religious beliefs shouldn’t be offended by colorful people expressing themselves. This toxic thinking is hindering the success of the movement for same-sex civil union, which Dane and I are really rooting for.”
4. Sen and Raphael, dating for 3 weeks
“We are both closeted to our parents. They know nothing about us because our dads are both homophobic in a way. They both share the same idea that the LGBT++ community won’t succeed in their chosen fields. I really wanna change their perspective. I wanna prove not only to them but to everyone that we, the LBTQ++ people, can be successful because I know that us being gay is not and will never be a hindrance for us to achieve our goals.”
3. Maegan and Aly, dating for 4 months
“We just want everyone to understand that just because what we have is different doesn’t mean it isn’t right. Love should be beyond the existing boundaries. Love is supposed to be natural, regardless of gender, race, and culture. As a receiving end of disapproving stares, we think it’s time for people to understand that we’re just like any other couple who found love in a cruel world.”
2. Ken and Jarrod, dating for a year and a half
Jarrod and Ken
“We’re just normal people in a normal relationship. We love in the same way heterosexual couples love. We push each other to grow and become better individuals the way “normal couples” would. We also face the same problems other couples have: rent, bills, food on the table, what to watch on Netflix. With the exception that we‘re judged because we have the same genitals, we’re really just like any other ordinary couple trying to live an extraordinary life.”
1. Unnamed couple, dating for 5 months
“Graduation day is as special for the two of us as it is to our families. But the thing is, for a couple like us who are still not out to our respective families, the only compromise we can afford is to conceal our feelings for a few hours, and be proud of each other from a distance. As much as we wanted to hug each other really tight, or kiss each other in front of all the people, we simply couldn’t. And that hurts so bad. It feels so bad that we have to hide, as if our love is something that has to be concealed because it might offend people. As if loving is wrong. But could love actually be wrong?
And so from that day, we said, we need to always include in our 11:11 wishes our wish of living in a place where people wouldn’t see anything wrong with what we have. That someday, we will no longer need to keep our families in the dark just to make our relationship work. That someday, they may see that our love is just as genuine as the love shared by really sweet straight couples.
And so to our family, and to people who are just not yet ready to understand, we just want to say that love can never go wrong. Our love, no matter how unusual it is to you, is still love, and is no different from your ‘heterosexual’ definition of love.
Tita, Pinsan, Mama, Kuya, we hope that someday you could just let us live in a world where we could freely hold each other’s hands, kiss each other in public, or maybe just simply use a sweet photo of us as our phone lockscreens, without any fear of consequences. It may be a hard thing to accept right now, but we hope that one day you’ll understand.”
*Some responses have been edited for clarity and brevity. Special thanks to Marielle Balmores, Cole Mañalac, and Gianna Sibal for the help in the research for this article.
Are you also in an LGBTQ+ relationship or know someone who is? What is your story? We’d love to hear from you.