After losing family, friends, and lovers, Angelica Panganiban didn’t think she could make it through the past 10 years. And yet, she did. And she opened up all about her struggles throughout this difficult decade on an Instagram post she shared on New Year’s Day.
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“Sa loob ng sampung taon, literal na roller coaster ride,” she began.
She first shared the problems she faced with her family, from finding out that she was adopted to mourning the deaths of her relatives.
“Nalaman kong adopted ako, nagtago ako ng ilang buwan sa pamilya ko. Dahil hindi ko alam paano sila haharapin. Nahihiya ako sa kanila. Nakilala ko ang mga kadugo ko. Para lang siguro malagyan mo ng mukha yung mga taong nasa imahinasyon mo lang.
Iniwan din kami ni mommy mila pagkatapos ng ilang taon. Kasabay ng taon na yun, nagkaroon ng cancer si mama. And we survived. Hindi nag tagal, si papa naman ang namahinga,” she said.
She then talked about how difficult it was for her to get up in the morning after losing so much. However, she pressed onward knowing that no matter how much pain she has in her heart, she is strengthened because of it.
“Nawalan ng mga kapamilya, karelasyon, kaibigan. May mga araw na hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa bumangon. Nang literal. Ayoko nang tumayo. Ayoko na tumawa. Ayoko na. Pero ginawa akong matibay ng panahon at panginoon.
Sa kabila ng lahat ng nawala, nakasakit at nasaktan ko, hindi ka dapat dun mag tapos. Hindi ka dapat tapusin ng sakit. Kasi ang sakit ang magpapatibay sayo. Yun pala ang kailangan mo para makabangon.”
(ALSO READ: Angelica Panganiban tells fans: ‘You are not responsible for another person’s happiness’)
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After everything Angelica has been through in the past 10 years, she learned that she can always turn to God for guidance, that she must learn to forgive, and that she must always trust that things will always get better in the end.
“Sa kabila ng lahat, takot pa rin ako magtiwala. Parte na siguro yun ng napag daanan. Sa kabila ng lahat hindi ako sumuko mag dasal. Dahil mas marami akong dapat ipagpasalamat. Naniniwala akong pinilit tanggalin ni Lord ang mga taong hindi mo na kailangan sa buhay mo. Dahil hinahanda ka niya sa mga tao na nararapat sa ano ka at kaya mong ibigay,” she continued.
“Sa sampung taon natuto akong magpatawad. Natuto akong ipagdasal pa rin sila. Magdasal na hindi mawala sa akin ang aspeto na yun. At natuto akong bigyan ng atensyon ang sarili ko at ang mga tunay na nagmamahal sakin.
Naniniwala akong mas magiging mainam ang mga darating na taon. Ika nga nila, kapag lugmok ka na, wala ka ng ibang pupuntahan kundi pataas.”
(ALSO READ: Carlo Aquino Admits That He May Have Led Angelica Panganiban On, Says He Respects Her Anger)
She then gave inspiring words to all her fans and thanked her friends for never leaving her side.
“Mabuhay ang mga taong patuloy na lumalaban, nagdadasal at hindi sumusuko sa pagibig. The best is yet to come. Salamat sa mga kaibigan at mga mahal sa buhay na patuloy akong pinipiling makasama sa buhay nila. Hindi ko kayo bibiguin. Cheers to 2020,” she said.
How did the past decade treat you? Share your stories with us in the comments.
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