Should You Date Multiple Men Until One Steps Up and Earns Exclusivity?

Due to the patriarchal conditioning of our society, many women are not even aware of the power they truly have over their dating lives.

One of the common mistakes women make- my former self included! – that stalls their having a happy, loving, and healthy romantic relationship is investing emotionally or being exclusive too soon without exploring their many other options first.


Due to scarcity mentality, some women become exclusive with whichever guy shows up first without letting him earn it first. Some women get too emotionally invested on a man too soon just based on her attraction for him or just because she slept with him, disregarding his emotional and physical investment i n her.

Such relationships often end up as unrequited love or a toxic relationship where the woman keeps trying to get all her relationship needs met from a man who’s not even intending to do that. She usually does this by nagging the man, trying to control the man, or guilt-tripping the man.

In order to avoid this, one of the things I coach women in my dating coaching program is to have a mindset, heartset and soulset shift when it comes to their dating lives and life, in general.

Instead of seeing a romantic relationship as a place where you try to extract or get something because you think you lack it, I help women see how valuable and whole they truly are deep inside them, and help them embody their inner feminine goddess queen seductress powers so that it shines through in their vibe, attitude, and dealings with the men around them and the world, the universe, rather.

sexyjoywim(… now we’re here…)

Many of us grew up trying to earn the love and approval of our parents or guardians by being a good girl, a good student, a good athlete, or whatever pleased our parents. Some of us even grew up in families where there wasn’t a lot of warmth and love and instead so much violence, emotional disconnection, judgement, and distrust. Unconsciously, those first experiences of love and relationship become how we see all relationships – romantic relationships included.

If we grew up always trying to earn the love and approval of our parents or guardians, we now behave in approval-seeking ways towards the people we are attracted to or whose love we desire. This does not really build a healthy attraction, though. Instead, it repels or creates toxic co-dependent relationships.

If we grew up distrusting the love of our parents, we unconsciously become distrustful of the people we are attracted to or are in a relationship with, which also kills attraction. If we did not learn warmth growing up, we tend to behave coldly even to people we are attracted to, which obviously does not build a healthy kind of attraction and relationship. If we had daddy issues or mommy issues, or abandonment issues; we unconsciously tend to carry them into our romantic relationships, as well.

Once you have that mindset, heartset, and soulset shift; you will feel deeply connected with your true core power as a woman. Naturally, you will also attract many men and will relate to them in a healthy way, and only invest emotionally on the special one you are attracted to, deeply respect in your heart – the one who stirs your soul and shows an emotional investment-worthy level of commitment and presence in your life with his words and actions.

I understand how many women not want to date multiple men due to various limiting beliefs; but if you really want to attract the right man for you and have the best dating and romantic life ever, and not settle for less than what you truly want and deserve, you have to Grow Through the Men (and the things) That You Go Through. Let men come and go. Focus on your growth and train yourself how to relate to men by actually dating and practicing relating to them in a romantic way.


Believe in your heart that the right man for you – a man you are deeply attracted to and respect and is deeply attracted to you and respects you—exists. And until he’s in front of you and consistently stepping up and is emotionally and physically present, keep expressing and growing into the woman who is right for you – a woman you deeply like and respect.

The gifts of dating various men include, but are not limited to, becoming unconsciously competent in knowing men’s psyche, what makes them tick and keep coming back, and how to relate to them, learning more about which of your attitudes work in your favor and those that sabotage you, learning more about what triggers you to behave in sabotaging ways, know yourself and what you truly want, experience joy in relating healthily with men, potentially being spoiled by some men with gifts, travels, attention, the list just goes on and on and on. Different men can take you to various levels of your sensuality and spirituality.

When you date multiple men, you will have an abundance mentality in men and will not settle for a man that you only maybe 50% want or just because you need him desperately but not necessarily want him nor respect him deeply. You will make choices from a place of abundance and joy instead of lack, urgency, and insecurity.  You won’t emotionally invest in someone who is not worth it because you will have so many options to enjoy.

Until you meet that one special man whom you respect, are deeply attracted to and earns your exclusivity through his words, actions, and presence.

Always remember that as a woman, you are very valuable; so never settle for a man who does not treat you like you are the value.

If you want to learn these tools at an even deeper level and be coached by me, leave a comment and email me at wynnellearnstolove@gmail.com

For 1-on-1 coaching on how to be a Fully Integrated Woman to close the gap between your current life and dating life to living a fun, joyful, meaningful, abundant, beautiful, purposeful, emotionally fulfilling life and dating life, you may send me an email at wynnelLearnsToLove@gmail.com

For free content, support, and discussions like our ancestors did in real tribes, join our Woke Women’s Tribe facebook group.

And do watch out for the ebook, online courses and live seminars I’m creating right now. Thank you. I love you and I hope to grow in love, joy, radiance, and power with you.

We’re going to rock the world together. This is for you, babe.