If You Don’t Plan on Committing, Don’t Lead That Person On

First thing’s first. Don’t lead people on. How hard is it not to do that? It’s simple, if you don’t plan to commit, don’t lead that person on. Ika nga nila, landi responsibly.

heart gif

GIF by Zoie Sy

Ever experienced being interested in someone and you know they’re interested in you as well? So, you flirt a little, you guys end up talking constantly, you even end up having those late-night talks. Then you start hanging out. More and more your interest in this person deepens. You like them, it’s obvious, and they blatantly reciprocate your feelings. So, the pursuit continues for days, weeks,  months, maybe even years. And just when you thought it was about to get serious you find out they had no plans on committing after all.


Graphics by Martina Leaño

Landian lang pala gusto nila. It sucks when you open up to someone, give them time and effort because you wanted to be serious with them, just to find out this was a casual thing for them all along. And it’s not like you hide the fact that you like them, they know it. It hurts even more when they know and they reciprocate, then you realize the feelings you thought were there for you, weren’t there at all.

In this day and age, there are so many issues about dating. Fewer people want to commit to serious relationships. There are people with the mindset that dating shouldn’t be about looking for a life partner because that’s idealistic. It should be about the experience and getting to know people and yourself more, it’s not wrong. However, there are still people who do date for marriage, why is that such an issue? There are people who don’t date for marriage but there are still those who do want to get married and there’s nothing wrong with that.

commitment issues

Graphics by Martina Leaño

To those who don’t plan on looking for something serious, at least let your partner know, cause you just might be leading them on. Ask them what their intentions are and let yours be known as well, just so you guys are on the same page. If you don’t have any plans on committing you should tell your partner early on that you aren’t looking for anything serious. At least they’ll know not to waste time in pursuit of nothing if they are looking for a commitment. From there you could set clear and open boundaries. And to those who accuse their partners of leading them on what if they did set boundaries, baka marupok ka lang talaga?

Remember relationships are a two-way street. You have to be responsible for your own feelings and other people’s feelings as well. It’s never right to lead someone on, but it’s also not right to accuse someone of leading you on. How sure are you that you had been lead on? If you’ve watched 500 Days of Summer you’ll know that Tom felt that Summer was his destiny, someone he could spend the rest of his life with. At first, you were probably angry with Summer, right? How could she leave Tom, why would she do such a thing? But did you ever really pay attention to when Summer told Tom very early on and on several occasions that she wasn’t looking for a serious relationship?

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What are your thoughts? Have you ever been lead on? Or have you ever been accused of leading someone on?


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