Hormones can toy with our emotions and #feels. This especially applies to us girls during our “time of the month”. When these happen our emotions are at the extremes – and could get really risky when we allow them to take control of us.
Facebook user Treska Tio Olivera took it to her Facebook account how “hormones shouldn’t be an excuse an excuse to treat anyone with disrespect.”
She first begins the post with a conversation she had with her husband, to which she “unintentionally walked out on”.
“I walked out on my husband. Unintentionally. But I did.
After a workout at the gym, we exchanged a convo that we usually have.
Mark: you done?
Me: yea. Ikaw? (you?)
Mark: 2 sets pa & 2 more workouts
Mark: wanna go ahead na? Sunod nalang ako. (Do you wanna go ahead? I’ll follow).
Then, I walked home & I was thinking about all the worries I had. Last week was tough. When I opened the house’s gate, I realized… I DIDN’T EVEN SAY BYE TO MARK! I didn’t even give him an “okay”, I just looked away & walked out! HOW. RUDE. OF. ME. I immediately got my phone & texted him, ‘Ngayun ko lang naisip na di pala ako nag paalam sayo. Basta sabi mo pwede na ako mauna tas umalis ako agad. Di ko namalayan. Sorry. Ang dami ko kasi iniisip. :(((‘
(It only occured to me that I wasn’t able to say goodbye to you. By the time you said that I could leave, I left right away. I didn’t even mind. Sorry. I’m just thinking about a lot of things.)
But right after I hit send, Mark was already at the door. He didn’t finish his workout because he got so offended about what I did, he started thinking if he might have done something wrong to me.”
A point of realization made Treszka reflect on her behavior towards her husband, so she humbled herself and apologized, even blaming her period for her behavior.
“I walked right up to him & hugged him, I talked to him “honey I am not upset with you. Ang dami kong iniisip. (I’m just thinking about a lot of things) It’s not you. I’m so sorry. Wala talaga ko sa mood, di ko namamalayan na ang cold ko or what. Basta pag ganun ako, wag mong isipin na ikaw yun. (I’m just not in the mood. I don’t sense if I’m cold [towards someone] or what. If that happens again, don’t think it’s because of you.) Please be patient with me today.” He accepted my apology & explained that he did feel like I was mad at him.
He then suddenly said he’s leaving for a while because he needed to get money from the ATM. He came home with pad thai, something I have been craving for. I also saw how he spent a lot of time that day helping me with chores and cracking up jokes. He was extraaaa patient with me, too.”
This is where she learned her lesson, how “hormones aren’t an excuse to treat anyone with disrespect”. It then occured to her how she had practiced this kind of behavior even in the past, how it was okay to gave an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. It made her realized that it does not make her a better person and how the world should “adjust” to her situations.
“I used to be this way. I even used to throw my sister out of our room because I wanted to be alone when I had my period. I used to literally scream at her on top of my lungs & think “you don’t know how I feel, I am on my period”. I used to think it was okay to treat people like crap because I felt like crap. What a sad reality that most of us girls are like this.
Then, I read about being able to think above your hormones- because you are a woman of your own mind because you are a woman of value. Does this mean hormones have no effect to me anymore? NOPE. I still get moody, I still feel cranky, I still want to be alone on days that I am being “too hormonal” BUT I LEARNED TO STOP USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO BE RUDE TO OTHERS.
It’s such a shame that I used to think the world had to adjust for me because I had my period and blame my hormones for my display of disrespect.”
Treszka further stated how she can “make things easier for herself” and for the people around her, particularly her husband. How one is able to be able ‘to think’ and distinguish from right and wrong – or using circumstances as an excuse.
“• I announce my mood swing. I give him a heads up. I make it clear to him that I am not feeling okay and it isn’t because of him
• I tell him what can make me feel better, sometimes space, food, rest, silence.
• I apologize. If there was a sudden burst of unwanted drama (ex: me walking out) I immediately accept this mistake & humble myself to apologize.
& honestly, I also personally felt better.
Girls, we are made to be much more than a person who is controlled by her emotions… WE CAN THINK. We can still know what is right & wrong. You think it’s unfair for guys to use the line “I’m just a guy/lalaki lang ako”… It’s the same thing as “I am on my period”. It is a lame excuse we buy. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay not to be okay. What’s not okay is when you make others feel miserable, too.
If you ask my husband how he managed my mood swings when I was pregnant, he would say “I didn’t because she barely had any”. In reality, I did. I cried a lot of times, even more during postpartum. He just didn’t feel like I did because I didn’t turn him into an emotional punching bag. He was my shoulder to cry on, my superhero. Instead of taking out my stress on him, making him feel like it’s all his fault, I tell him how much I needed him and how safe I felt in his arms.
On little things, I cried. On our baby’s 2nd day in this world, I cried about not being able to afford her tuition fee. Hehehe. ???? I felt like this was such a big deal but he never told me that I was overthinking… He stayed beside me & just listened.”
Treszka highlights how we can respond better to situations that make us uncomfortable and how we could stay away from hurting anyone by being mindful of our actions and not being taken away by extreme emotions.
“We can’t escape mood swings, but we can control our response to these hormones. Stomach cramps, headaches, dizziness- most of us have been there. Some more intense than others. If you need to be alone, then be alone. But never, ever disrespect anyone just because you are currently feeling miserable.
On Mark’s side, if you noticed, he acted with love. He did what he could possibly do to ease what I was feeling. Does that mean he doesn’t get irritated? Of course, he does! That’s why it helps to let him know you need him, na hindi mo sya kaaway, magkakampi kayo. And I really spend time to let him know how much I appreciate his patience & understanding.
He also respected me. Men do not understand our emotions that much, because men and women are different in many aspects. All he could do was respect how I was feeling & not add up to the tension- but that alone mattered a lot.
You see, a relationship is a two way thing. If I was the only one being considerate & he wasn’t being understanding or if he was the only one respecting my feelings & I still kept acting rude, it will not work.
Girls, you are worth far more than what you feel during a surge of sad hormones.
“Like a golden ring on a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion”
Treszka’s post inspires us to be kind to others without giving the excuse of “human nature” blocking the way to kindness and showing love. Truly this is something nice to ponder about, don’t you think? And yes – we are given the freedom to choose our actions and are always held accountable for these things.
The Oliverias are truly expiring! It’s a breather to read things like this, don’t you think? You pick up and learn a thing or two. These two are seriously couple goals! <3
What do you think of this story? Let us know in the comments below!
Dislcaimer: WheninManila.com does not own these photos. Photo credits go to Treszka Tio Oliverias. You may view the original post here.