First dates are already awkward to begin with. There’s this whole getting to know thing—Where do you work? Where did you graduate from? What did you major in? Are you a cat person or a dog person?—and then there’s this whole small talk thing on this (where do you fall on the political spectrum) and that (the weather).
First dates are nerve-racking, and I’m pretty sure we all have our own fair share of awkward moments. I still remember that one time I went out to the movies with this guy. His car smelled really nice, and he was pretty cute, too—buff and moreno and all that. Well, yeah, I ended up accidentally farting in his car. We never went out again after that.
Below, 18 hilarious awkward first date stories, as told by Filipinos. Enjoy!
18. Just another South Boy meets North Girl love story
We rode a cab on the way home. He asked where I lived so I assumed he’d take me home. When I said I lived in Fairview he was like, “Manong, dyan nalang sa tabi. Ma-out of way ako eh.” — Far-view, 23
17. Let’s memorialize this!
I met this guy from Tinder. By the end of the date, I asked him if I could have one small block of his car’s air freshener para ma-memorialize ko yung date. Narealize ko just now na hindi normal yun???? But we’ve been dating for almost 3 years now so maybe it wasn’t so bad. — Athena, 22
16. Who’s Angie?
He called me by another name. And when I saw his wallet, he had a whole bunch of other girls’ IDs and photos. He acted like it was normal and not a big deal, and I was just so shookt. Hello, varsity athlete from España! My name is Joyce, NOT Angie. Kthnxbye Felicia. — Joyce Serut, 21
15. Third wheel problems
Back in high school, I went on a date with this guy but I tagged my friend along. Sila ang nagka-sparks!!!! Sobrang ako yung naging 3rd wheel, from eating to watching a movie. Awkwardddd. LOL happily married na sila now. — Kaycee Enerva, 30
14. Who knew an awkward date can lead to a happily ever after?
My first “date” with my now husband was so awkward. He invited me to see an art film at the UP Film Center. He came with his friends and I came with mine. For some unknown reason, we left an empty seat in between us. I also left the theater in the middle of the movie. — Hannah Granada, 32
He took me to a computer shop to teach me to play DOTA. — Loren, 21
Double-date kami ng sister ko— I was with my crush, and my sister was with her manliligaw. Kasama rin namin si Mommy at ‘yung nag-aalaga sa amin. We were watching a movie, tapos nanginginig na ‘yung crush ko sa lamig. I offered him a hug, kaso umilag siya. Sa sobrang ilag niya, nauntog siya sa upuan sa harap namin. — Gem, 18
11. That one with the flying ipis
We went to a pool hall in Timog. While we were playing, guys from the next table started catcalling her. I went up to them and a fight broke loose. I beat the sh*t outta the two guys who talked smack, and before their friends could gang up on me, security intervened. Me and the girl walked outta there, hand in hand. She was looking at me like I was so badass and tough, like I was an action star. Siyempre, I was feeling it, but then a f*cking IPIS comes flying outta nowhere. Outta f*cking nowhere. I let go of her hand and hid behind a f*cking pole. Ugh. —Carlo De Guzman, 23
10. True love on a first date
Paolo (my now husband) and I had our first date at a Japanese restaurant. I had to pretend that I knew how to use chopsticks, para kunwari sosyal ako—but I absolutely failed. He ended up teaching me the whole time. And while we were eating, Paolo looked at me intently and slowly removed a booger from my nose!! It was a big one pa ha, OMG nakakahiya! Sabi niya pa, “You have kulangot.”
Until now he teases me about it. Whenever he sees our son with a booger in his nose, he tells him: “Manang mana ka talaga sa mommy mo.” — Rovie, 30
9. The staircase situation
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. On our first date, we drove to his aunt’s house to introduce me to his family (ang bilis diba lol), and then habang bumababa kami sa stairs, nadulas siya hanggang first floor while holding my hand! His uncle came in and said “bakit kayo magka holding hands?” — Ja, 23
8. Wait, what?
I said “long time no see” the moment I saw him, when in fact it was the first time we met. Super awkward. — Melissa, 22
7. The reason why my teacher’s still single
My high school teacher once told us to “refrain from long goodnights when dating”.
I once dated an Asian American guy from Tinder. He drove me home after the date, but before he could say anything after he pulled over, I said goodnight, shut the car door, and ran to our house. A second date never happened. —Merry, 25
6. Because Chinese horoscopes matter!
I went on this date (if you would call it one) where my friend & her father came with us (they were the ones who introduced me to the guy). The guy was with his mom, who “interviewed” me the whole time we were at the restaurant (I don’t think he & I even exchanged a word). His mom kept asking me specifically about my Chinese horoscope (which played a lot of role in the success of any relationship, or so the Chinese believed). I just played along, but dearly wishing the night would end soon. Needless to say, I didn’t hear from the mother-son tag team after that date! — Kites, 46
5. Brace face problems
Kakalagay lang ng spacer sa teeth ko earlier that day, so my teeth were still adjusting and super sakit. Then sinundo ako ng date ko sa school at kumain kami sa isang restaurant. He ordered ALMOST EVERYTHING on the menu, kaso tinitigan ko lang yung pagkain. Akala niya tuloy nagda-diet ako at hindi ko siya type kasi di ko pinansin yung pagkain. — Kim, 29
4. At least he’s polite!
My super crush finally asked me out for a lunch date. While we were eating and chatting, a tinga flew out of my mouth and landed on his side of the table. I’m not sure if he was just being polite, because he acted like he did not notice it. I discreetly covered it with tissue while he wasn’t looking. —Via, 18
3. The more, the merrier?
I chatted with a guy named KOPOLPAN, and after talking and exchanging photos for days, he invited me over his place for drinks. It was a slow Saturday night, so I thought what the hell.
I get there and there were two of them. They were a frakkin couple! Apparently his nickname was supposedly a premise – Kopol pan – a tagalized typo of ‘Couple fun’.
I didn’t leave right away because I didn’t want to be rude. It was awkward for a good 10minutes. I turned on my friendly charm and the next thing I knew, I was singing karaoke in their living room…dissolving any hard-ons, present and future.
Good times. — EJ Electric, 29
2. Nothing happened!!!
I was opening the door of my date’s car, but ended up hitting my face with it. My glasses broke, so I immediately hid them and pretended that nothing happened (but believe me, I was hurting the whole time). —Anika, 22
1. At least honest!
We took a nap in his car after a long day and I laid my head on his shoulder. I woke up to discover a big pool of drool on his formal shirt. I didn’t even attempt to distract him from it, I was just like “hehe naglaway ako.” Buti nalang tinext niya parin ako pagkatapos. And kami parin ngayon. — Gabby, 22
Got any awkward first date stories to share? Comment below!