I’m turning 25 in seven months. Technically, that’s still a long time from now—enough to argue that it’s too early for my birthday to cross my mind. But the weeks, days, and hours zoom past us quicker than we think. And before I would know it, I would’ve already lived a whole quarter of my life.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’m okay with that.
When people ask me what my biggest fear is, I usually lean towards common answers, such as ghosts, monsters, and the dark. What truly haunts me, however, is failure—particularly the kind that plagues a quarter-life crisis.
Photo: Amazon Prime Video/YouTube
A quarter-life crisis is one of the last things I want to find myself in by next year. It’s a multifaceted term—a pivotal phase in your life, usually between the ages of 25 and 30—that involves the intimidating yet insightful processes of assessing your career path, rekindling your passions, and developing a strong support system that’ll guide you towards your fully realized self.
While I don’t have extensive data, I believe I speak for many Gen Z Filipinos when I say that, ever since we’ve entered our 20s, almost every day has felt like a quarter-life crisis. We endure various hurdles to our personal growth, helplessly watch time slip through our fingers, and constantly feel like we’re not doing enough to savor it, no matter how hard we try.
Systems That Hold Us Back
Most young Filipino adults I know have been told by their loved ones at least once that they should achieve a certain goal by a specific age. Maybe it’s learning how to drive by 25, earning a master’s degree by 27, or even getting married by 30.
These expectations are among the driving forces of a quarter-life crisis. It won’t be long before they influence every crucial decision you make in hopes of reaching these milestones on time.
Navigating these pressures is daunting, but you aren’t alone in this uphill battle. In a 2024 study from the Psychology and Education journal, 219 Filipino college students cited these three factors as the most common influences of a quarter-life crisis:
- Uncertainty (towards what to do next in their lives),
- Dissatisfaction (feeling behind on their personal goals), and
- Indecisiveness (about their career prospects), among other conditions.
A quarter-life crisis used to have us worrying about whether or not we could turn these uncertainties into purposeful outcomes in time for our mid-30s. But now, today’s young adults can’t help but wonder if these long-term benefits are even attainable to begin with.
We’re at the mercy of draining systems that put us in survival mode every day to make ends meet. Our families depend on us, and prices of our everyday needs aren’t getting any lower. We won’t stop striving for living conditions that allow us to nurture our dreams freely. But for now, we don’t have time to determine if we truly resonate with this seemingly endless “adulting” bucket list, given the plans we’ve already made for ourselves.
The Illusion of Freedom
A quarter-life crisis can get us so caught up in planning and stressing about our futures that we forget the other, more unconventional option at hand: leaving our old lives behind and starting anew.
As the saying goes, “Change is scary, but so is staying the same.” Pursuing the road less taken would mean ditching the life you’ve built, learned your way around, and eventually grown to love for an entirely unexplored chapter that’s yet to be written. But this choice requires ideal resources and freedom—something we have, but can’t just impulsively entertain.
A young adult’s day-to-day routine isn’t a walk in the park. Things go south, too, more often than we assume. We may roll with the punches for now, but deep down, we probably wish for the same free will as Isabel “Belly” Conklin from The Summer I Turned Pretty, who left her loved ones in the U.S. and started a new life in Paris on a whim after calling off her own wedding.
A Vogue Australia article expanded on how Belly made a name for herself abroad, mishaps and all. The piece argued that people in their 20s should also experience moving overseas independently, just as she did.
How I wish it were that simple. We’re bound to make mistakes as adults who navigate life without an instruction manual. But unlike Belly, our volatile circumstances force us to confront our shortcomings head-on, rather than boarding a plane as far away from them as possible. The possibility of “finding ourselves” in a new country amid a quarter-life crisis is inviting, until we start worrying if we can even spend a day there without breaking the bank.
Constant Comparison
We all deal with “adulting” struggles in our own ways, but sometimes, social media tells us otherwise. Lately, my timeline has been filled with funny videos depicting the “typical Instagram story rosters” of young Filipino adults, which include:
- Running marathons,
- Getting engaged,
- Attending multiple concerts in one month,
- Finishing their master’s degrees,
- Travelling, and
- Starting their content creation journey.
As someone who regularly scrolls through the same updates from friends, numerous thoughts come to mind: I should open a running account. I should buy a tripod and a microphone for vlogging. I should apply for an international scholarship. I should book my dream flight. I should fall in love.
Many things I believe I should do, without asking myself if I can do them first, or if I even have the heart to make them happen.
Comparison is almost unavoidable in a prominently digital age. Social media seems to know what’s best for today’s generation, leading us to believe that the only way to live life properly is according to our feeds and algorithms.
We can easily fall into quarter-life crises once we feel behind in our 20s, as if we’re doing something wrong compared to how our friends enjoy their adult lives. I’d be lying if I said I never felt pressured to go on the same “side quests” as my peers.
However, as harrowing realities persist, I’ve found comfort in stepping back from the pressure and applauding myself for simply making it through every day. As Billy Joel says in “Vienna,” “Slow down, you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you wanna be before your time.”
As much as I want to predict the future, it’s out of my control, and I’m slowly learning to look on the bright side of it all. Who knows, maybe my quarter-life crisis will go easy on me on my 25th birthday, and I can gradually welcome the next chapter of my life with open arms.
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…. it’s fascinating that there are so many “I”s; perhaps you switch to for whom do you live this life? then again, “you’ll never know how bright you are until you face darkness” BLCE
Forget about the I shoulds or the I can, and maybe start asking if Do you even want to? In the first place 🙂