As someone who’s been in quite a few failed relationships (both the one to break it up and be broken up with) and has experienced checking up on their ex(es) – several times huhu – I have a message for all of you. Do yourself a favor and JUST. DON’T. DO. IT.
No. Don’t check up on your ex.
Graphics by Gwyneth Sy
Ask yourself, why are you even doing it? You’ve got to learn to let them go. Whether or not you were the one to break up with your ex, don’t check up on them. Trust me, there’s honestly no point in doing it now.
If it wasn’t already obvious to you why you shouldn’t do it, here are a couple of reasons why. First and foremost, it’s no longer your job to do so. You guys broke up for a reason, and for whatever reason that may be, just know that what you’re doing won’t do them any good and it won’t do you any better either. Another thing that I learned, if you’re going to stalk your ex’s social media accounts, you’re most probably going to find something you don’t want to see. Whether it’s them with the person they’ve replaced you with (ang sakit sakit po mamsh) or they’re subtweeting and reminding you how horrible you are for breaking up with them – you aren’t going to like it. So, just save your peace of mind and just get off their social media account.
Graphics by Gwyneth Sy
And just to keep whatever dignity you have left, please, don’t even think about messaging them and asking them how they’ve been. Maybe this is fine if it’s been a year or so, but if you’re doing it early-on during the break-up, stop yourself! They don’t want to hear from you. If they did, you guys wouldn’t be in this situation. Especially if you’re the one who broke up with them! You know they aren’t okay, so don’t even ask them if they are because you just might be giving them false hope. Stop hurting them and/or yourself.
Graphics by Gwyneth Sy
You also have to understand that constantly checking up on them will only delay the process of healing. There won’t be space to move on. And even if you and your ex agreed to be friends after the breakup, believe me, it’ll still take a while before you guys can actually be friends. The feelings will most likely still be there, and if it isn’t there for you then at least allow them to move on. You’ve got to give each other space, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how guilty you feel. If you find they’ve blocked, well, then at least you now know your ex knows well enough to give you both some space. And although finding out they’ve blocked you (in every single social media account they’ve got) isn’t entirely surprising, it still hurts. So just do yourself a favor and don’t even try to check up on your ex.
ALSO READ: If You Don’t Plan on Committing, Don’t Lead That Person On
