10 Ways to Survive a Flying Cockroach (Flying Ipis) Attack
The flying cockroach, locally known as the terrifying “flying ipis” or “lumilipad na ipis” or some just call it “AHHHHHHH,” is a mythical creature rumored to have lived longer than 300 million years!
This species known as the “flying ipis” is called this because of a special trait not seen in the regular ipis: the “flying ipis” can FLY!!!!!
Tingles run down my spine just hearing that name or thinking about the horror of this! I would not wish a flying ipis on my worst enemy!
But fear not dear WhenInManila.com readers, as we are here to give you 10 ways you can survive the monster known as the FLYING COCKROACH!!!!
10 Ways to Survive a Flying Cockroach (Flying Ipis) Attack
10. Nuke em’
To start our list is a recommendation from Lieutenant Ellen Ripley from when she herself had to face these gruesome creatures! Unfortunately, there are also theories that the flying ipis may still survive a nuclear holocaust.
“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit… It’s the only way to be sure.” – Lt. Ellen Ripley
9. Insecticides / Insect Sprays
These concoctions of deadly poison juices are also another popular way to kill these pests. Just be careful when spraying the flying ipis as you want to make sure you hit the cockroach, and not anyone else.
8. Flying Television
Many times, you will not have immediate weapons of choice around you, so improvising and reaching for the nearest object you can hurl at it will ensure your survival. It’ll be worth it.
“Dear flying ipis….. Meet my flying TV”
7. Yaya
For many of our conyo friends, a quick scream of “YAYA” can accomplish many things. This magical word has helped many survive as they are nourished with food, water, help carrying things, turning on the aircon, reaching for remote controls, or more importantly, killing flying cockroaches!
More funny Yaya texts here – Top 10 Funniest Texts from Yaya
6. Proton Pack and Containment Unit
Great for battling flying ipises and flying manananggals.
5. Nunchucks
One of the most powerful weapons, able to render unconscious over a dozen villains in a span of 60 seconds or less. Surely just as powerful when used towards flying cockroaches (*NOTE: potential for collateral damage relatively high).
4. Cats
This cuddly and adorable ball of fur can be unleashed as an angel of death towards anything moving, like red laser dots, or flying cockroaches. Laser dots have fared better and have survived many vicious cat attacks, but the cockroach has not always done so well. Drawback for this is having to scrub your adorable ball of fur clean before deciding to cuddle with it again.
(On a serious note: adopting and taking care of a street cat would really help out as cats often chase down and can rid houses of pests like cockroaches and rats. Adopt a kitty and be nice to one, it will take care of you too.)
Hello Kitty is not a cat memes
3. Lightsabre
You underestimate the power of the Ipis Side.
2. Brothers, sisters, or anyone else smaller or slower than you
When being chased by a bear, one does not necessarily need to outrun the bear, you only need to outrun the other people around you. In cases where a flying cockroach is around, this survival of the fittest tactic always applies. Remember to push and run.
1. Tsinelas
The ultimate weapon against a flying ipis! A local weapon of choice for many, this dangerous weapon is said to be only allowed in some provinces with special permits. This deadly item has been known to seriously injure naughty kids or cheating husbands as well. Use caution when handling.
So there you have it. 10 absolutely unproven ways to survive a FLYING IPIS attack!
Do you have any extra tips? Leave them in the comments below!
Also, here’s a crazy video of some guy giving a box of cockroaches to his girl who cheated on him.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
Do you have any extra tips? Leave them in the comments below!
