6. “Tumaba ka yata.”
As said by: Your tita who always seems to notice your weight. Every single time.
How you want to respond: The classic “Thank you tita, kayo rin po, tumaba.”
How you should respond: Smile politely, and be helpful in giving her a third serving of that lechon. Maybe be a little too helpful.
5. “Nasaan na boyfriend/girlfriend mo?
As said by: Your tito who is always trying to set you up with his kumpare’s son or daughter who he swears is perfect for you.
How you want to respond: “You know nothing about how I feel, so don’t give comments about my personal life because I don’t give comments about yours.” Bea Alonzo style.
How you should respond: Come clean and say, “I’m not looking for a relationship right now and I am happy.”
4. “Kailan ka ga-graduate?”
As said by: Your tito. Your tita. Your 16-year-old cousin who was 10 when you started college. Your dog. Everyone else, really.
How you want to respond: “Ang mahalaga po, sama-sama tayo ngayong Pasko.”
How you should respond: “Trust me, like everything else in my life, it is worth the wait.”
3. “Wala ka pa rin bang trabaho?”
As said by: Your tita who seems to always compare your achievements with her child’s, aka your cousin. The same tita who thinks that the only “real jobs” are being a doctor, engineer or a lawyer. Hey, being a creative while meeting clients’ deadlines is a real job, too!
How you want to respond: “Akala mo lang wala, pero meron, meron, meron!” Complete with a cinematic face slap.
How you should respond: Smile politely and say, “While I may not be in a traditional kind of field, I am fortunate enough to land a job that is well-suited to my capabilities and career goals, not to mention one that pays me well.” Pang-Miss Universe na sagot. Pak.
2. “Kailan ka na ikakasal?”
As said by: Your tita who swears that the old maid curse in the family is real, and you may be its next victim… if you don’t act quickly. Unsurprisingly, she and that tito who is always trying to set you up are a married couple. Go figure.
How you want to respond: “Bakit, kayo po ba sasagot ng kasal ko?”
How you should respond: “I’m happy with my life right now, and I have a career that’s going great for me. Marriage can wait, and it’s only one of life’s adventures.” See if she doesn’t awkwardly turn away and reach for the leche flan after that one.
1. “Anong regalo mo sa akin?”
As said by: Your pesky cousin whom you are not close to at all, and only see during the holidays.
How you want to respond: GO AWAY.
How you should respond: “Haha, next time na lang. Nag-iipon pa ako!” and pray he doesn’t remember that next Christmas.