Hello, Aries, my friend whom I’m in a total love-and-hate relationship with.
I remember the first conversation we had was asking each other’s zodiac signs, which then turned into a common ground that resulted to the start of a new friendship.
Time went on and eventually, the thing that pulled our fates together was also becoming the very same thing that resulted to us debating about the pettiest of things. Even when nothing should really be fought about, we always start something somewhere between the lines.
Our zodiac signs were total opposites to begin with, so we already knew so much about our differences then. Your taste for being around people all the time would be a situation that’s exhilarating for me; your thinking in advance negates my mantra to live in the moment; your “what if” attitude contradicts my “so what” motto.
That time we started to hit it off, you were recovering from a heartbreak with someone whose sign was the same as mine. And you weren’t the first Aries I’ve ever met, but you were different than those I’ve known before.
I think this was where we started clashing. We got too comfortable and familiar with each other – to the point that my expressiveness was out of control and somehow took its toll on you. And you sometimes saw the similarities of me and that person who shattered your heart – emphasized it so often, and swung it across my face; resulting to momentarily lashing out and you taking your emotions out on me.
But at the end of the day, no matter how much we fight or hurt each other’s ego, no matter how much we want to rip each other’s head off, we manage to make up. You are my epitome of a love-hate friendship. We hate each other most of the time, but still love each other nonetheless.
I want to tell you that I’m sorry – for the misunderstandings, for my uncontrollable mouth, for lashing out on you when you least expect it. As someone who lives in the now, I’m sorry if I forced you to “just chill,” you – someone who thinks 10 years ahead. I apologize for pointing out that your overthinking gets the best of you, and preempts the good things before they could happen. I realized late that that’s not something you can control. You want to, but sometimes fail to; but I know you try.
This is what I want you to remember always.
It’s okay not to respond to me all the time. Should you want to ignore me, I’d understand. But whatever happens, no matter how straightforward, frank, or foul-mouthed I was (and will be), I will never lie to you. I will never tell you it’s okay, when it really isn’t. I will never tell you go ahead, when it’s obvious you should stop. I will never tell you that you’re perfect, when you’re downright being a pain in the ass. I will never give you false hopes.
Everything I told you in the past about self-love, even if they bruised you, they were all for you – at least in my eyes they were. I never sugarcoat things, but I swear I’ll try harder when it comes to finding the best words before giving you a sucker punch.
You may complain all you want about me “bitching out” on you, as you call it… But that means I care. I spend my time giving you sermons, because you matter. My blabbering is caring.
I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong about you, and I apologize for every moment I ever made you feel like doubting yourself. You’re a great person, and I seldom tell you that anymore. We both have our shortcomings, and I’m actually glad we discover more of it as we continue the cycle of loving, hating, and loving again.
I figured it’s not only in romantic relationships that this applies.. Communication is key. Maybe we could start from there. I hate you, so much. But I love you more than that.
With so much love to give,
Tag a friend you want to push off a cliff, and catch at the bottom at the same time!