How To Avoid Being Kidnapped in the Philippines

By on January 30, 2010


Have you been wanting to travel around Asia? Have you always wanted that dream vacation in the tropical island paradise? So what’s stopping you? Is it that fear of getting kidnapped if you come to the Philippines? Well fear no more!

WhenInManila.com /WIM News‘ Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent, John O’ Sullivan, is back to give us the best tips and techniques on how to avoid being kidnapped when in the Philippines. John was here in the Philippines and was kidnapped while we were filming last week’s episode. He’s back to give us advice and to tell us about how he got away from his kidnappers.

Getting kidnapped is really one of the worst inconveniences to anyone while relaxing on your dream vacation. So listen up to John, who gives us the detailed steps on what you should do if the kidnappers come a knockin at your door.

According to John, the best way to avoid being kidnapped in the Philippines is to blend in with your looks and how you speak. But most importantly, you need to know all the lyrics to all the sentimental love songs from the 80′s and the 90′s in case the kidnappers pull the old “Kareoke” test on you. Anywayz, you need to listen in to his video so he can better explain his Safe Hostage Interception Tactics if you do become a kidnap victim.

*Thanks so much to John for being such a great sport and for finding time to hang out with us!

 

http://WhenInManila.com Our guide on how to avoid being kidnapped when traveling to the Philippine Islands. WIM news’ Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent, John O’ Sullivan, gives us tips on how to not be a kidnap victim when visiting other foreign countries like the Philippines. See more on our website http://WHENinMANILA.COM

How To Avoid Being Kidnapped In Manila / The Philippines


V: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to the show our Senior Peacekeeping Correspondent John O’Sullivan to give us advice on how to avoid being kidnapped in the Philippines.

Welcome back to the show John.

J: Great to be here Vince:

V: So we all know about your great escape from the kidnappers last week, how ever did you pull that off?

J: Well Vince, I’ll get to that in a second, but first, the best way to get away from kidnappers is to not get kidnapped in the first place. Kinda like preventive medicine.

V: Ok.

J: vince there are certain rules that you need to follow in order to avoid being kidnapped here in the Philippines.

The main thing is simply blending in. First of all, You need to show potential kidnappers that you are a local, as they will then think that you are broke and poor. As you can see from my Filipino attire, no one would guess that I’m a foreigner.

V: Ummm… no one really wears that and..

J: What?

V: Nothing. You were saying…?

To further blend you in, you must speak like the locals Vince. From my research and expertise in this matter, to sound like a local In the Philippines simply means that you must interchange your letter Fs and your letter Ps. Flease pollow this rule and I fromise that you will froferly survive a visit to this poreign land.

Again of course, showing how easily I blend in with the locals Vince.

Finally, and most importantly, you must by all means know all the lyrics to every sentimental Kareoke song from the 1980’s and 1990’s, plus a select few remixes of the same songs that were made later. Songs like “I wanna dance with somebody,” “girls just wanna have fun,” “total eclipse of the heart,” or “dancing queen.”

This is in case the kidnappers pull the Kareoke test on you where they drag you into a dark room filled with smoke and force you to sing these tunes.

V: John, ummmm no those were just my friends we were hanging out with…

J: They were Kidnappers Vince! And fortunately, my knowledge of international peacekeeping and the Filipino culture was able to help me survive that gruesome ordeal.

V: As well as your knowledge of the song “Dancing Queen”…

VIDEO OF JOHN SINGING HORIBLY TO DANCING QUEEN

J: You were videotaping that?

V: Yeah….. Anyway, John as we all know you are a prisoner of war, you’ve been kidnapped before… please tell us how did you get out of that?

J: Well Vince there is this very detailed procedure and steps that I call the Safe Hostage Interception Tactics or SHIT

J: So when you get kidnapped, the first thing you should think is… SHIT! The Safe Hostage Interception Tactics and immediately  you must put this strategy into play.

V: So how exactly can you pull this SHIT off?

J: Well it’s really quite simple Vince. To properly do this SHIT, you just need to beg for your life, and when all else fails, tell them that there’s  Paquiao fight that they’re gonna miss if they don’t let you go.

V: That’s it?

J: I know, this SHIT is really a lot easier than some people might think.

V: No, but… that SHIT’s never gonna work…

J: Vince, I’m living proof that this SHIT works! Of course, again, the best way is to avoid the whole kidnapping by simply blending in with your look, accent or kaeorke skills.

V: John, that is absolutely stupid, it’s never going to ….

KIDNAPPERS RUSH IN ROOM.

Final scene shows dark room, Vince tied up and blindfolded, while John is again signing dancing queen.

Then the kidnappers voice comes on and says, “He can go, he’s a local” while pointing at John.

John wishes Vince luck, reminds him of SHIT and heads off camera.

Dancing Queen lyrics by ABBA

Cover by John O’Sullivan – WIM News Senior International Peacekeeping Correspondent

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music’s high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance…

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

You’re a teaser, you turn ‘em on
Leave them burning and then you’re gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You’re in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance…

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen





About

Google+ Vince Golangco is the Founder & Publisher of WhenInManila.com, where he manages over 300 contributors, writers, photographers and story tellers. Vince graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication and a minor in Business. He has over 10 years of international experience in marketing, advertising and creative writing. He served as an Information Systems Technician in the United States Navy, was a Marketing & Development Coordinator at the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the Senior Media Planner for Bright Box Media, was a radio DJ and hosted a tech TV show in Manila. Vince is a surfer, a skater, a writer, a US Military Veteran, Junior Chamber International (JCI) member, an AKPsi brother and an adventure seeker. Connect with Vince on Twitter @VinceGolangco.