Best Black Friday Sales: Top 5 Things to Buy for your BlackFriday 2013 Shopping List

3. Black Friday Kitchenware on SALE

The true way to a man’s or woman’s heart is… straight through the chest with that amazingly sharp knife with a lifetime guarantee! Or… you could also just cook a nice meal for them. Either way, you’ll need lots of shiny new things in the kitchen! So stock up on unnecessary toasters, waffle makers, juicers and steamers at a local Black Friday Sale near you!

2. Black Friday Gadgets, Phones, Tablets, Game Consoles and Tech on SALE

Television sets, Playstation 4s, Xboxes, phones, tablets, MP4 players, stereo systems and new robots! It’s all there and all for the taking! I mean what other way can you show off how rich and sophisticated you are than a brand spanking new phone with built in vibrator! Oh…. wait… what…? What do you mean phone vibrators aren’t used for that…. ?! Anyway… yeah… gadget Black Friday Sales are vibratingly tingly and exciting!

1. Black Friday things-you-would-never-ever-need-in-your-entire-life-type-stuff-on-SALE

There is no better time to get that totally useless contraption that looks cool than on BlackFriday, when all prices are slashed in…. well… between o% – supposedly 99% off! It’s time to get that new thingamajig you’ve always wanted but will never use!