Why Giving Too Much is Better Than Not Giving Enough

Words by Misha Fabian

I recently chanced upon an article written by a girl who had gotten into a car accident. She wrote about how in the moments where she was suspended upside down in her car, the faces of all the people who meant the most to her flashed by quickly. Luckily, she was saved and brought to a hospital to recover. However, in the weeks following her accident, she began to find that those dear to her began to show extra care and affection towards her and also became more expressive of how much she meant to them. This was strange to her because they had never been that expressive before the accident happened. Now, this is not to say that adopting such an attitude is bad, but I found myself wondering- does it have to take the possibility of loss to shake us and remind us of what is truly important? And why does it seem like we are afraid of giving too much of ourselves until the last second?

Nobody likes losing. It’s one of the things I’ve found to be true whenever I observed something that entailed someone inevitably coming out as number one and someone else coming in last place. I think that because nobody likes to lose, we’ve all been conditioned to withhold parts of ourselves so it doesn’t hurt as much when we don’t get the outcome we want, be it towards the things we do or with the people we meet. I used to think that way also. I think everyone’s been guilty of this at one point in their lives and honestly, who can blame us? Losing hurts. However, lately, I’ve come to the realization that withholding isn’t always the best course of action- it prevents us from knowing and offering what we’re really capable of.

In the same article, the girl writes about the dangers of not giving enough- as was the case she saw when her friends and family only began to shower her with expressions of love after her accident. Should they have been not as fortunate and lost her, would they have thought about how much love they could have shown to her while she was still with them but they never got the chance to do so? Because of this, I believe that ultimately, it is better to have given too much than to not have given enough. 

Giving something your best shot does not automatically ensure that you’re going to get the outcome you want. However, it is way better than lacking in effort and thinking about all the things you could have done in order to get what you wanted.