Article by Edge Aruta
Hello, everyone! I just wanted to share some of the things that went through my mind during my first three years in college. These are my anxieties, doubts, complaints, and questions about my capabilities and my path.
I’m an incoming fourth-year student at the University of the Philippines, Diliman, studying BA Art Studies and I can’t even believe that I’ve made it this far. Each year of my college life has been a test of my belief. I have so many reasons to give up studying and just let go of everything, but I continue to trust what I don’t understand and not quit when depression hits. My story will be short, but I hope it will inspire or help you understand that finishing your studies is your best gift to your parents.
Here are the 2 reasons why I could have given up my studies, but didn’t.
I wanted to help my family financially.
When I told my parents that I got accepted into UP, the first thing that they asked me was, “Kaya ba? Wala tayong pera pang bayad ng tuition o kahit pang allowance. Itutuloy mo ba?” I didn’t even know what to say after hearing that. There were so many things running through my mind and I went to bed pretending to sleep, but actually cried. I was thinking I could stop, apply for work and just help my family financially. But then something popped into my mind, telling me that there was something greater get work here.
I wanted to make my parents proud and give them so much more by pursuing and finishing college and eventually getting a better job to help them out. So I told them the next day that I would confirm my slot and study in UP even though I didn’t know where to get money for my tuition and allowance. Fortunately, God is faithful. When I discovered and applied for the Socialized Tuition System of UP, I got accepted for bracket E2 with free tuition and stipend and also found some sponsors. Thus, my college life started.
If I decided to stop studying after what my parents said and turned back, I may not have found the way to college. Yes, maybe it’s a little bit different for me because the school is UP with a different system, but the lesson is the same. Trust what you believe in. Never turn back and just continue moving forward no matter what the pace.
I had so many doubts regarding my capabilities.
Now that I’m in college, struggles continue to grow. I can’t deny the fact that reaching the end is the toughest. I always ask myself, “Kaya mo pa ba? Mahal mo pa ba inaaral mo? Ga-graduate ka pa kaya?” Again, I doubted if I could really finish my studies and if I could get enough money to help me continue studying.
I don’t know if I can still pass all my subjects next year, especially now that my subjects are getting harder. I don’t know if I can really finish my thesis and graduate on time. But here’s the thing: it’s not about what you don’t know; it’s about what you know and what you believe can happen for your life. What I know is that I can finish what I started. What I know is that I can still graduate, no matter what, even if I stay in UP for seven years. What I know is that it’s not about how I started the race; it’s about how I finish the race and focus on the ultimate goal: to graduate and help my parents. Look past the mountains!
Being a student does not only mean that you should just pass every required unit. It mainly teaches us how to be persistent, no matter what, and to overcome the trials with the right attitude. This is where we should learn about life lessons and not just about our required subjects (which we might even forget). You don’t know how great the reward is just by taking a step of faith in every single trial and not turning back.
Just keep believing!
Admittedly, all of these things will become a heavy burden without loving what you are about to learn in every step you make.
Before I end, let me leave you this quote from Pele: “Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.”