We asked people who have been cheated on: Why did you stay? Here’s what they said

Words by Kelly Punzalan

Getting your heart broken is never fun. The only thing that’s worse than your own heartbreak, though, is seeing people you care about in pain. I’ve been in that position way too many times and most of the time, the reason they are hurting is because of their partner’s unfaithfulness.

Whenever I found out a friend or someone I knew had been cheated on, my response (after comforting them and trash-talking the cheater, of course) was always: “You’re going to break up with them, right?” It’s the logical thing to do, after all. Alas, love usually has no regard for logic and reasoning.

For those of us who are a part of Team Cheaters Don’t Deserve Second Chances, it’s frustrating to see our friends ignore our advice and go back to the people who broke their trust and hurt them. If the relationship backfires again, we’re the ones who will be cleaning up the mess and singing “I told you so.” But we’re all human, and humans make a lot of questionable choices, especially when in love.

In my quest to become a more understanding and compassionate person, I decided to talk to people who have been cheated on by their partners in the past and ask them why they didn’t end the relationship. (Note: All names have been changed to protect the privacy of the respondents)

1. Fairy tale love

I spent my whole life watching movies and reading stories kung saan nagkatuluyan lahat ng couples undergoing hardships. I wanted us to be the couple with the love that withstood the tests of time. I wanted to prove everyone wrong. – Jerome

2.  It doesn’t hurt to try

A part of me believes that he definitely won’t do it again, but you can’t remove the doubts din. He genuinely wants to fix our relationship and it makes me want to give it another try.

–  Tin

3.   Who is to blame?

Aside from the fact that I love him, it was mostly because I blamed myself. I thought it was my fault because I didn’t try hard enough. Siguro I stayed because I thought I could correct my mistakes. – Cynthia

4. I believe in her

I have faith that she’ll change. I’m trusting the process. –  Gabriel

5.  5 Years Strong

I stayed because we were together for 5 years and sayang naman kung mawawala lahat. –  Kim

6. New beginnings

He showed me that he changed and he earned my trust again. – Mary

7. “Ako pa rin”

Maybe in hopes she’ll realize na ako pa rin, ako na lang. I think my love for her is different, the kind that can overcome anything kahit gaano kahirap at masakit.  – Sarah

8. A mother’s love

I wanted my kids to grow up with a father. – Jessica

9. Deeply connected

I found it hard to let go of someone who knew every inch of my body and soul. – Megan

Whether it was out of convenience, special circumstances, their partner had truly changed, or simply because they love them too much, they all had their reasons for staying. Even if we disagree with those reasons, we shouldn’t judge them too harshly or judge them at all. Leaving is not as easy as it sounds, so we can’t blame someone for wanting to try and salvage the relationship. Every couple is different and some really are capable of working things out and overcoming this.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.