We asked 24 people if you can really be friends with your ex–this is what they said

Dating is stupid hard. The amount of feelings involved + the chance that you’ll get hurt? Way too risky. And it sucks when one of you moves on from the other and there are still things lingering. It can turn from happy to sad real fast. And those hard feelings can make it even harder to reclaim any kind of friendship.

We asked people if you could really be friends with your exes, this is what they told us.

24. Maturity

Yes, bc I believe u can’t unloved but the love only changes form. Only won’t apply if one or both are not mature enough to deal with the break up and the relationship that happened. This is also assuming the relationship wasn’t an abusive one. That’s a totally diff story.

23. No bridge-burning

Yes, especially if you ended it on a good note, because the love for each other is still there one way or another, and it doesnt need to make things weird or bad. Granted it was a good relationship, it doesnt have to end with burned bridges.

22. Platonic is just as important

yeah I think so naman, especially if y’all ended it on a good note or civilly (and that the relationship was ok as well) I mean, nothing wrong with keeping in touch naman and being friends despite not being in a romantic rel anymore?? Y’all can still share stuff with each other and appreciate each other and continue to foster that love though in a platonic way haha

21. Resentment

It depends on the circumstances of the break up tbh. Ideally, if things broke up in a civil manner, it should be okay to still be friends. I think the problem is when there’s resentment that develops during post-civil break up while you’re still friends. I think there’s a healthy need for distance after any break up before becoming friends again.

This is based on my experience since I’m still friends with some exes but I’ve completely cut off others due to the post-civil break up resentment that didn’t get resolved.

20. It depends

It depends on the people and the circumstances, but it’s definitely possible. Of my exes, there was one that I cut off and one that cut me off completely. But the others range from friend to really close friend, so I think it really is up to the peopleinvolved.

Out of the ones I’m still friends with, one was an absolutely terrible breakup, but after enough time, we started talking again. It was probably because before we even started dating, when we confessed to each other, we were scared of what it would do to our friendship, so we made a pact to stay friends no matter what. Safe to say we hold true to that pact even now.

And in my latest breakup, which was also my longest relationship so far (4 years), we both felt too intwined in each others lives to completely cut off, so we agreed to try being best friends. It sometimes filled us with a lot of complicated feelings, but we did what we could to make it work. Considering that we’re now physically apart, I hope we won’t drift too far apart, because I do still consider them a very important friend.

19. Yes, but–

Yes. Especially if you started out as friends. The only ones we can’t have are the cheaters and the abusive ones lol

18. Simple

No if he/she cheated lol

17. Love never goes away

yes!! bc in my opinion love never really goes away, it just has different stages. you spent a lot of time loving and continuosly looking for things to love about that person and no matter how bad things end, the things you love about them plus the time you spent discovering those things about them will always be a saving grace and should always, never fail to bring a smile on you face!

16. Not the time?

Sometimes yes. Specially if both of you understand it’s not the time to be together.

15. Maybe just acquaintances

You can’t be friends with your ex because it’ll hurt you and stall your moving on process. Sometimes when we can’t let go, we think it’s best tp stay friend because then you’ll at least be apart of each other’s lives But in the long run I don’t think you can really stay friends as in actual friends. Acquaintances maybe but it ends there.

14. What terms are we on?

I guess it depends on whether the breakup was on good or bad terms, I know people who are still friends with their exes and I guess that’s because they ended on good (and clear HA HA) terms but if I have to speak from my experience (lol) we ended on very bad terms (online breakup with no face-to-face closure HA thx ex !) then… no LOL goodbye forever sa hindi nakokonsensya

13. Dating your circle

I do have friends whom i’ve dated before. Context: we’re all in the same circle of friends so i just treat them like acquaintances now that it’s been over for ages. There’s a huge layer of detachment tbh. So ya when it comes to staying friends, there’s a lot of letting go bc u can never assume the same closeness as before u got together. (but in my case i just drank a lot n turned my heart to stone b4 my liver? kidneys?? could develop them)

12. What if?

I think kaya pa naman pero the feelings aren’t completely going to go away, especially if you really really loved the person. The little remaining fire there makes you think of what ifs sometimes even when you’re already with someone else perfectly happy haha

11. Different kinds of friends

if ur not dating anyone, yeah its cool to be friends with ur ex lol. cos recently i saw my SO’s chat with his ex, AND bRO, she (the ex) was sending him sexy pics and puro heart reax niya sa pics so idk… for me i don’t think you can be friends with ur ex, but maybe u can be sex friends with them lol

10. Another simple one

Yes pero wag na lol

9. It’ll be hard but possible

Yes, you can be friends with your ex and I say this because more than a year after breaking up, my ex and I are still best friends and business partners. We broke up because of deep scars left by traumatic experiences beyond our control. We agreed that forcing the relationship might leave one or both of us resentful and potentially destroy not only our business but more importantly, our friendship. It was incredibly heartbreaking, but I believe we did the right thing: our friendship is still as strong, if not even stronger than ever. The romance is no longer there: he’s happily in love with his wonderful girlfriend, and I’m exploring the world of dating. However, the friendship–the inside jokes, the life updates before and after office hours, and the constant support–remains, and to me, that’s what matters so much more. 

That said, there’s no hard and fast rule for what does and should happen after a breakup. While the end of a romantic relationship does not necessarily have to mean the end of a friendship, it’s not imperative either for exes to stay or eventually become friends again. Relationships, not just romantic ones, are far too complex to be limited to singular if-this-then-that statements.

8. Helping each other

I’d say yes. My Ex and I ended on good terms. We still help one another when in need and we usually catch up every once in a while. We were a young couple but I think it helped that we came to accept that the time may not be right but we aren’t meant for one another either.

7. Supporting them no matter what

Yes. 🙂 Because in the end, I believe it all boils down to the person I am today. Bc as someone who has had relationships before, my view of them would differ by how mature I had been then. Like back in high school it’d be DRAMA and I would avoid them and their friends. Summer ‘flings’ are well, flings, id end up seeing them occasionally and say hi to each other but deep down I know I can’t be as intimate with them anymore. Then college comes around and teaches me how to love and shit and realize that I am destined to meet people but leave them as well. So now I end up cherishing the moments I had w them and realize that no matter who I have been with, no matter the case of how it ended, I’d still support them from far a way bc I still love them 🙂 – CG

6. Clear cut

Yes if we ended in good terms. No if bad. – Chef Metalhead

5. Two-way street

I think you can be friends with your ex if some time has passed since the break up, you ended on good/okay terms and if both are mature enough to handle the friendship. I tried to be friends with my ex after he migrated to the U.S. but it didn’t work out cause I would be the only one initiating conversation and messaging first HAHA and we don’t talk na now cause I stopped trying. So it can’t be a one-sided thing either

4. Yes, but things will be different

To answer the question, it really depends of how both of you guys see things through. If both of you are civil and mature enough to look past the mistakes and shortcomings of the relationship (and why you guys broke up in the first place) then yeah why not? Theres no harm naman in being good terms with someone you gave youre heart to. Whatever happens naman, u loved that person and you cant just remove that person in your life. However, things definitely wont be the same. You guys wouldnt talk as much or talk the same like you guys used to and thats inevitable. Theres definitely gonna awkward tension at the start but eventually its gonna be okay and you both will respect each other in the end. People tend to neglect or cut ties with the people that hurt them but we have to remember that no matter what, that person gave their time, effort and love for you and you shouldn’t forget about that. I believe that there are certain people for certain chapters in your life and we have to remember that your ex taught you so many valuable lessons that you can use in your life so whether or not your friends after the break up you have to thank them for the ride and wish them the best in life

3. As long as you grow

I think you can be friends with you ex as long as you continue to help each other grow to be better people. Yeah it’s gonna be hard not to remember everything you’ve experience together but then we remember na everything happens for a reason and if you guys broke up then it must’ve been for a good reason. or maybe like you can be friends with them casually and talk here and now cause there’s no harm in it naman! you can’t just pretend that he or she was never someone in your life so like pointless lang din if you’re not friends??? pero if one of you doesn’t wanna be friends then i think the best thing is to respect their decision na lang because that’s the least you could do to show na you want him or her to grow and if he or she thinks that it’s gonna be best without you then have enough care to respect his decision

2. Respecting boundaries

I think with regards to being friends with your ex I think its definitely possible but theres always a lot to consider. Mostly I think its about respecting the boundaries set by your former lover. Perhaps you want to be friends with them but they cant because of personal reasons like insecurity from your past relationship, or fear of further emotion developing, or even bitterness of its end. Being friends always sounds like the right answer because of how we’re brought up and taught and stuff but I think distance is ok too, never talking is okay too as long as both parties are comfortable with it. More over fixing your relationship as friends I think its about harmony and accepting the decision of your ex as a show of respect.

1. Forgive

Yes. Anything can be settled with the person you love or you once loved. It may take time but if both are willing to forgive and grow as friends, then I don’t see why it’s not possible. One cannot love without learning how to forgive.

What do you think? Can you really be friends with your ex? Let us know!






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