Crossderssing Robbery: Crossdressing Thief Found Under Couple’s Bed in Subic Philippines
THE AFTERMATH:
The police went around the house and took our statements.They then inform us that the investigators from the main precinct were coming to check our place more thoroughly. Meanwhile , they made us describe intruder no 1 in detail and deployed some guys to go around the village to look for him. (It was a gated community, so they were able to radio the guards in the gates to seal all the exits. The problem was, our area is HUGE and we have a lot of forests. So there was still a big chance we might never ever find him).
While the police were there, we were able to go through the rooms for the first time. It was completely surreal. The living room was in disarray. Our cushions were on the floor. The drawers were open. And there was dirt everywhere.
Here’s the weird, creepy part though. I usually leave my cigarettes on the center table. I found that the intruder (s) had smoked a couple of my sticks and had left cigarette butts around the house. We found one on the kitchen floor, and another one on the center table. (There was even a burn mark on the table!) Our pack of Skyflakes was open and the butter was taken out of the refrigerator. Holy crap right? Best guess, they (although during that time we thought there was only one guy) hung out in the living room for quite a while, waiting for us to fall asleep.
How f***ed up is that??
The nasty burn mark left on our newly-made center table
Thankfully, because my husband woke up when he did, they were not able steal a lot things. Moe got his phone back and intruder no 1 was in too much of a panic to go for the bags he fancied. My pink laptop, which I left charging on the dining room table, was missing however (that and a couple of packs of skyflakes).
Stupid me, I painstakingly gathered all the cigarette butts and stray hair I could find thinking that we could use them for DNA later on. Ofcourse, I failed to take into account that we live a third world country. I blame this on my overexposure to CSI.
Several minutes later, while we were talking to the lead investigator, the other policemen came back with a potential suspect. We had mentioned to them earlier that intruder no 1 was male, possibly of “of homosexual orientation”. When I heard they had caught someone, I immediately rush out of the house, excited that they had found him so quickly.
The problem was, they had brought a different gay dude.
The police and my husband decided to detain him anyway (we shall call him intruder no 2).One because he was inside our gated village, a block away from our house at 4 am, with no ID (he also gave a fake name from what I recall) and two, because he was found lurking outside an empty house. He claims he was waiting for a taxi. But there was a waiting shed right across the street from where he was found, so it behooved anyone why he would opt to wait for a ride in the dark, behind a massive tree. Plus, as mentioned earlier, in his rush to get away, intruder no 1 left one of his wedge slip- ons behind. Intruder no 2 was wearing the exact same ones (Great minds have the same fashion sense?).
When asked what he was doing in our area, he claimed that a certain Robert, an American who supposedly lived inside the village, had picked him up in the Central Business District. They were doing the nasty until “Robert” found out that he was male and had sent him packing (This in itself was dubious. Even I could tell that he was dude and I’m blind as a bat. I was too polite to point out this fact however).
That was his original story, but he changed it many times in the next couple of hours. When pressed to show them where the American lived, he adamantly maintained that he couldn’t remember. He then changed his story and said that he arrived in the village in a taxi alone, and was just about to meet the American guy. When he got to “Robert’s” house however, it was empty.
When he noticed me looking at the grass stains on his pants, he changed his story again and suddenly blurted out that he got the stains because he and the American were having sex in one of the empty lots.
The only thing consistent was his insistence that he was nowhere near our house and he had nothing to do with the break in.
Intruder no 2 had balls though. He had the gall to ask me for a cigarette when he saw me smoking ( I willingly gave him one. I really thought we could match the residue with the cigarette butts found in the house. Was feeling pretty smug and clever when I handed my “evidence” to the investigator. It was then that he gently shattered my illusions about our police equipment. I’m dumbass, I know).
Plus, in an effort to distract me, he claimed that he would see my husband in the gay bar where he worked. (Husband says it took all of his self -control not to punch him when he overheard us talking). I went along with the story, thinking it would be best to glean out all the information from him (where he worked etc) just in case the police decide to let him go for lack of evidence (I watch Law and Order, all the different versions. I know how it goes).
When the sun finally came out at around 6 am, the investigators decided to go around the empty house where intruder no 2 was hiding. And surprise, surprise! All the stuff was there. My pink laptop was hidden under a bush, there was a purse with our skyflakes hidden behind another tree. They had even found the other pair of the wedge sandals intruder no 1 had left behind.
The little laptop that could. I’ve had this baby for years, and aside from this kidnapping, it has survived a bunch of bumps, falls and even a couple of blue screen incidents. It retired with honour a few weeks after the break in.
That kinda sealed the deal. Intruder no 2 was charged and brought to the main precinct, despite his continuous denial that he had anything to do with what happened.
For the rest of the day, the police worked tirelessly to look for intruder no 1. I could see them coming in and out of the detachment, combing every corner of the village ON FOOT (our area is HUGE. As in hectares huge), since they did not have the luxury of having vehicles. Their superstar captain was also there the entire time, supervising the search.
Finally, after 12 hours, they found intruder no 1 hiding in another empty house.
Since we could positively identify him, intruder no 1 confessed immediately. He also confirmed that Romnick was part of the dumber and dumber heist. (Yes, we found out when 1st guy was caught, that 2nd guy’s name is Romnick. As if our experience wasn’t surreal enough, our robber had to be named after an 80’s teen star. 1st guy’s name is Michael, like my husband. :P).
Anyway, this entry is getting too long, so will save what happened next for Part II.
Could not emphasize enough how grateful we are to the Subic Law Enforcement Department though. They were all heart despite the lack of equipment and vehicles. Some of them even went to work (Captain included) even if they were not on duty. Props to all of you!
On a final note, we could laugh about this incident right now, but at that time, it was pretty traumatizing. It took me months before I could sleep through the night again. Just the thought that someone could sneak in our house and creep into our bedroom while we were peacefully sleeping was enough to keep me awake for several weeks on end. Until now, I still panic when my husband comes home late from work.
Meanwhile, Moe still does a thief check under the bed before going to sleep. And, every so often, he would wake up and do late night rounds, making sure that every corner of the house was intruder-free.
We have also made an effort to make our place more secure. (Will not get into specifics at the off chance that robbers are following my Desperate Subic Housewife blog and come up with ideas to bypass our security measures. You can never be too safe. 😛 ). I have to admit, I let the suburban atmosphere lull me into a false sense of security. And before the robbers, I would laugh at my husband whenever he would berate me for leaving the door unlocked in the middle of the day. But I guess you can never be too paranoid when it comes to these things.
We’re still grateful that this was the only thing that happened to us. At the end of the day, trauma and bruised ego aside, we’re both unscathed and unharmed. The universe still loves us to give us just a slight boink on the head, maybe enough to teach us a lesson but definitely not enough to kill us.
Meet Michael, a.k.a intruder no. 1. He managed to change his shirt while in hiding (talk about prepared).
Meet Romnick, a.k.a intruder no 2. we later on found out that he was the “mastermind” of this entire debacle. (When he does get out of jail, the psychologist in me is tempted to give him unsolicited advise on finding his bliss and choosing a different career path. He’s sadly not very good at thieving).
Story by Pia Dysangco Villamor
Originally posted on her blog at https://thedesperatesubichousewife.wordpress.com/
What would you do if you found someone under your bed?
